Update: Trump assassination a sham! Entire situation faked. No, it was all part of the show!

Trump maybe did not get shot in the ear. Maybe it was one of those hidden ball tricks like they have in baseball. This was our conversation with a Washington insider dealmaker with connections to British gambling. It seems whenever there is political movement in America, the punters are first in in their predictions and…

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They have shot Trump! A bloody ear and a feisty fist raised. Fuck yous apparently upon his lips. We are fighting for something in America.

It’s a hell of a show. I really have to admit that in the world of show business, Donald Trump is a really unique brand of performer. And I mean, it is unquestionably a show and he is unquestionably show business. I understand it sort of makes use of the presidency of the United States…

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Man vs Machines: Non-arguments misusing misinformation to misinform non-thinking people not to stop misusing and abusing the planet

Vlad Putin on Greta. It is not that he doesn’t respect young people or ideas of sustainability, it is just that the world is too complex to be understood by little girls. And of course, there is the cost of things. This is the essence of what bureaucratic double talk tends to be. I could…

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The Atomic Cafe

The Atomic Cafe is a 1982 American documentary film directed by Kevin Rafferty, Jayne Loader and Pierce Rafferty. It is a compilation of clips from newsreels, military training films, and other footage produced in the United States early in the Cold War on the subject of nuclear warfare. Without any narration, the footage is edited and presented in a manner to demonstrate how misinformation and propaganda…

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Nuclear warheads in Belarus: disease, poverty and social chaos not enough for Vladimir Putin

According to multiple sources, the Russians have transported several nuclear warheads to the territory of Belarus. The idea is that they should be available in case the need to nuke Ukraine becomes the only viable way to get their point across. European press as always tries to diminish fear amongst the people who read their…

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Flash from the Utopian! G assaulted. Sends them packing with words to the wise like a boss

Our illustrious publisher has been challenged publicly. And publicly he has faced the challenge. The region agrees that a choice is clear. G gets the office. Listen to G or you are really not going to like the results. Editor’s note: for what happened as clearly reported as possible as well as some other news…

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Scandal: Shohei Ohtani caught cheating – exposed as a fascist – reviled by the Japanese – challenged internationally over every aspect of his game – statements coming soon from his wife – Trevor Bauer to blame for everything

Our ever challenging staff of news hounds here at the Utopian! have uncovered some seriously devious business from the previously thought virginal Shohei Ohtani. Though the entirety of the United States agreed unilaterally that there was no greater baseball player humanly possible then this young man who could both pitch and hit. He was really…

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Breaking winds: nuclear winter has arrived – thousands will die unless intervention from public services does its job

Transportation stops: Disease control: Maximum lockdown on movement: Marijuana wins in the election: The president of course is all in because being outside in the fresh air is all we ever need. Putin is advised globally: The truth of the psychosis is made clear: It was getting even for being raped so many times that…

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In-depth reporting: the Utopian! Hangs with the underground as they go tire slashing for peace

I am here tonight with Bimba Bortulaqua. Bimba is leading the league in tire slashes this year. We thought we would catch up to him to get some words about his rather awesome technique. Can you tell us exactly how long you have been slashing tires? I’m not going to lie, it was one of…

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