To your security team at discover card I am requesting that you immediately unlock my account and allow me full access to my funds. You have walked me through a labyrinth of unnecessary attention questioning my identity. Along the way, I have passed your electronic test six times, four of which in your presence. I…
I was just counting blessings. I I remember in my working life that there were these lovely finds to be had in the morning as a reason to get out of bed. I suppose that changed depending on where my working world was. In New York it was probably an early morning diner and a…
Pre-fight First of all, I’m not sure if this is a significant cultural event or just a demonstration of the power of social media. The problem as a sporting event is that this particular influencer is known for his pranks. Literally, it would seem that we are about to be pranked. It’s like a giant…
I don’t know when it took a hold of me. Probably when they really wanted it to take a hold of me. It’s just a matter of texture in a world dominated by TikTok shorts. What am I going to do with myself? Stupid question, easy answer. Let’s play with the phone. Tick tock? Entertain…
Sometime this evening on the East Coast of the United States, we are going to get the first debate between two presidential hopefuls. I’m not really convinced of the genuine value of this ride. I do not particularly find either of the candidates to be particularly stimulating. I think there was a time when Kamala…
Celebrity is an amazing thing and celebrities when they get together for podcasts and other types of interviews, these are moments to truly make your point. This last week, Theo Von, The modern Southern comes from white trash comedian turned social commentator had as guests both Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump. I personally think it…
Trump maybe did not get shot in the ear. Maybe it was one of those hidden ball tricks like they have in baseball. This was our conversation with a Washington insider dealmaker with connections to British gambling. It seems whenever there is political movement in America, the punters are first in in their predictions and…
I went searching for the state of the art for the eco activist. You have to give credit to these people. To think that wanting to breathe fresh air and to stop the damage caused by completely unnecessary economic activity has become criminal and scornful seems crazy. It’s like getting a nice bowl of soup…
Originally published on green2022.org on November 10, 2023 I’m just sitting here riffing really. I have these crazy thoughts that go together sometimes and my habit is to put them together into some usable thing. This is what makes the Utopian fiction run. I just like solving problems so I like to make messes and…
I made a short film this morning. I’m really getting tired of doing this but I made a short film this morning. It’s a film about my neighbor’s story to the police when I brutally attacked her arbitrarily and without notice. I was thinking last night about Being Had. This is the book I wrote…
Подкошерный инспекция, нашёл что много чего нет натуральный в дождевая воды. То есть, у нас слишком полуция. Внимание, осторожно вообще поведу отношения природа. Не мешай ну съезжай ну наверное нам уже нужно фильтры. Это всем. И кому нужно без деньги всё получает. И больше не нужны машина нельзя. Милиция ждут. И всё. Чек будет. И…
Hi. Welcome to the vernal equinox. It’s about right now. This is us entering into springtime. Springtime is nice. Lots of good stuff happens during the spring. Today is the spring equinox. It means this is spring. In the Northern Hemisphere the vernal equinox falls about March 20 or 21, as the Sun crosses the…
Our illustrious publisher has been challenged publicly. And publicly he has faced the challenge. The region agrees that a choice is clear. G gets the office. Listen to G or you are really not going to like the results. Editor’s note: for what happened as clearly reported as possible as well as some other news…
Our ever challenging staff of news hounds here at the Utopian! have uncovered some seriously devious business from the previously thought virginal Shohei Ohtani. Though the entirety of the United States agreed unilaterally that there was no greater baseball player humanly possible then this young man who could both pitch and hit. He was really…
Independence it seems has come like a wave over the town of Pinsk. Changes are occurring left and right and soon, there might even be genuine hope for a better future. News of this has come to me from a taxi driver working for the Russian Yandex corporation and little t, operating independently for the…
After diligent and uncompromising work by the staff of the Utopian!, Ultra-Famous, ridiculously rich and still pretty attractive pop singer extraordinaire Taylor Swift has been found swiping songs yet again. With a nose for news seldom found even amongst the hounds of the wealthy, the Utopian! demanded to hear the truth. And we got it….
There is an argument on the table as to whether or not we should be using The Utopian! to air our rather sketchy underwear in public. To this answer we remain nonplussed. There is too much to say and we do not know how to say it. It seems that things have come to pass…
A well-known but at the moment preferring to remain anonymous super super genie Godzilla brain scientist who basically just wipes the floor with Magnuson just for a warm up during breakfast tea has discovered the flaw in the ointment. You can’t play a decent Jewish game on a four-sided commitment. And thus opens up a…