Headlines are everywhere. Processed meat causes cancer. Meat is not healthy for you. The New York Times has no problem telling us about this. The evidence is quite convincing that regular consumption of processed meats is detrimental to health, including colorectal cancer, Type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease,” said Dr. Frank Hu, a professor of…
There comes a time when a person must get up and do what must be done. Traditionally, just thought has to do with going to war. I am personally not of the belief that the greatest motivator to get one up is to kill your fellow man or destroy the landscape. Sometimes I think it…
If you’re interested in reading the text of this week’s parsha, the weekly Torah portion, you can go to chabad.org. If you are a Russian reader or pretty much any other language, I’m sure there is a translator program available. This week’s portion is called Kedeshim (קְדשִׁ֣ים) which has the simple translation of you shall…
If you would like a nice overview of Orthodox Judaism concerning Passover, you can click here to see what they have at chabad.org concerning prayers and readings and observations. I am non-traditional but observant in my own way. I am not using factory matzah this year because I am in a war with mice. If…
This is kind of a difficult subject to put together in a reasonably short essay so I’m not going to go deeply into the minutia of each individual line of thought but more try and give an overview to a single thought concerning drugs. To even use the word drugs is to influence people. We…
I asked this question of Google. The first dictionary definition I got was this. A luxuriant, dense forest rich in biodiversity, found typically in tropical areas with consistently heavy rainfall. The word luxurious means very rich which is also an adjective that is used. It means uninhibited really. When we think of luxury, we think…
It seems that we have a problem with Saturdays being recognized as the Sabbath. It seems it is difficult for baseball to take Saturday’s off because the traditional days off of workers would be Saturday and Sunday and of course the nature of baseball is to sell tickets and advertising and whatever else goes along…
The relentlessly brave and remarkably overworked staff of the Utopian! has once again burst through the gates of the hollowed halls of the Empire itself to attend press conferences where questions and answers would be available. Let no one question the integrity of the Utopian! for it is us, all of us, who give us…
Hi. Welcome to the vernal equinox. It’s about right now. This is us entering into springtime. Springtime is nice. Lots of good stuff happens during the spring. Today is the spring equinox. It means this is spring. In the Northern Hemisphere the vernal equinox falls about March 20 or 21, as the Sun crosses the…
Our ever challenging staff of news hounds here at the Utopian! have uncovered some seriously devious business from the previously thought virginal Shohei Ohtani. Though the entirety of the United States agreed unilaterally that there was no greater baseball player humanly possible then this young man who could both pitch and hit. He was really…
Transportation stops: Disease control: Maximum lockdown on movement: Marijuana wins in the election: The president of course is all in because being outside in the fresh air is all we ever need. Putin is advised globally: The truth of the psychosis is made clear: It was getting even for being raped so many times that…
I am here tonight with Bimba Bortulaqua. Bimba is leading the league in tire slashes this year. We thought we would catch up to him to get some words about his rather awesome technique. Can you tell us exactly how long you have been slashing tires? I’m not going to lie, it was one of…
Independence it seems has come like a wave over the town of Pinsk. Changes are occurring left and right and soon, there might even be genuine hope for a better future. News of this has come to me from a taxi driver working for the Russian Yandex corporation and little t, operating independently for the…
They say it’s -1 right now but it’s very clear. Not a cloud in the sky. I didn’t feel like sitting inside anymore. I was feeling antsy all over my body and just wanted to go outside. I’ll be honest with you, it’s hard for me to go outside. The damage done by the neighbors…
All right, I admit I get dark and I get by with a little help from my friends. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand it. First of all, I’ve never turned on the automatic translator until today for these guys. But they were setting up to do something like a serious podcast wearing black…
It was the circle that they would form at the end of the day that really held them together as brothers. To say the word brothers was perhaps incorrect. Females sat in the circle because they too enjoy the work of using stone as a building tool. These circles whereas important to everyone as the…
There is an argument on the table as to whether or not we should be using The Utopian! to air our rather sketchy underwear in public. To this answer we remain nonplussed. There is too much to say and we do not know how to say it. It seems that things have come to pass…
Here is a video from Andrew Millison that talks about a gigantic agricultural project across Africa designed to keep the Sahara desert from encroaching southward. According to the information in this video, the Sahara desert has grown 10% in the last hundred years. The result of the damage and the desertification has everything to do…
Here we have a simple Google search. Sometimes you just have to ask a question in order to get an answer. I think it’s a boat this more than anything. Teaching English is kind of strange in this way that people don’t really understand that a language is not just made of statements. You can…
I think we might need to create a new heading called nostalgia. I have some pictures in my head that are asking to be put together to make a very specific point about the use of alcohol in conjunction with anything. And it has to do with both playing sports and observing sports and living…
A certain well-known but mostly underground scientist has recently sent out a press release saying that having stupid friends shortens one’s life expectancy. This study came to me unexpectedly underneath a burrito I had purchased. But while I was chewing, I started reading what was on the paper and gadzooks, we had a genuine story….