Well this is something. I’m sitting in front of my house on a chair staring at either a possum or a porcupine who just walked right into the front area of my house and parked himself in the gap in the concrete where the cat sleeps and rolled into a ball. I have evicted him…
From Chabad.org: Behar in a Nutshell. Leviticus 25:1–26:2 The name of the Parshah, “Behar,” means “on Mount [Sinai]” and it is found in Leviticus 25:1. On the mountain of Sinai, G‑d communicates to Moses the laws of the Sabbatical year: every seventh year, all work on the land should cease, and its produce becomes free…
Well here is the thing, they decided to make marijuana legal in Germany. Here is what Google will get you if you can’t figure out how to do it yourself. What does this mean? It means that the children of the original Nazis have decided to decriminalize something that is a very pleasant thing to…
From chabad.org: Emor in a NutshellLeviticus 21:1–24:23The name of the Parshah, “Emor,” means “speak” and it is found in Leviticus 21:1. The Torah section of Emor (“Speak”) begins with the special laws pertaining to the kohanim (“priests”), the kohen gadol (“high priest”), and the Temple service: A kohen may not become ritually impure through contact…
Headlines are everywhere. Processed meat causes cancer. Meat is not healthy for you. The New York Times has no problem telling us about this. The evidence is quite convincing that regular consumption of processed meats is detrimental to health, including colorectal cancer, Type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease,” said Dr. Frank Hu, a professor of…
There comes a time when a person must get up and do what must be done. Traditionally, just thought has to do with going to war. I am personally not of the belief that the greatest motivator to get one up is to kill your fellow man or destroy the landscape. Sometimes I think it…
If you’re interested in reading the text of this week’s parsha, the weekly Torah portion, you can go to chabad.org. If you are a Russian reader or pretty much any other language, I’m sure there is a translator program available. This week’s portion is called Kedeshim (קְדשִׁ֣ים) which has the simple translation of you shall…
If you would like a nice overview of Orthodox Judaism concerning Passover, you can click here to see what they have at chabad.org concerning prayers and readings and observations. I am non-traditional but observant in my own way. I am not using factory matzah this year because I am in a war with mice. If…
This is kind of a difficult subject to put together in a reasonably short essay so I’m not going to go deeply into the minutia of each individual line of thought but more try and give an overview to a single thought concerning drugs. To even use the word drugs is to influence people. We…
I asked this question of Google. The first dictionary definition I got was this. A luxuriant, dense forest rich in biodiversity, found typically in tropical areas with consistently heavy rainfall. The word luxurious means very rich which is also an adjective that is used. It means uninhibited really. When we think of luxury, we think…
It seems that we have a problem with Saturdays being recognized as the Sabbath. It seems it is difficult for baseball to take Saturday’s off because the traditional days off of workers would be Saturday and Sunday and of course the nature of baseball is to sell tickets and advertising and whatever else goes along…
The relentlessly brave and remarkably overworked staff of the Utopian! has once again burst through the gates of the hollowed halls of the Empire itself to attend press conferences where questions and answers would be available. Let no one question the integrity of the Utopian! for it is us, all of us, who give us…
Hi. Welcome to the vernal equinox. It’s about right now. This is us entering into springtime. Springtime is nice. Lots of good stuff happens during the spring. Today is the spring equinox. It means this is spring. In the Northern Hemisphere the vernal equinox falls about March 20 or 21, as the Sun crosses the…
Our ever challenging staff of news hounds here at the Utopian! have uncovered some seriously devious business from the previously thought virginal Shohei Ohtani. Though the entirety of the United States agreed unilaterally that there was no greater baseball player humanly possible then this young man who could both pitch and hit. He was really…
Transportation stops: Disease control: Maximum lockdown on movement: Marijuana wins in the election: The president of course is all in because being outside in the fresh air is all we ever need. Putin is advised globally: The truth of the psychosis is made clear: It was getting even for being raped so many times that…
I am here tonight with Bimba Bortulaqua. Bimba is leading the league in tire slashes this year. We thought we would catch up to him to get some words about his rather awesome technique. Can you tell us exactly how long you have been slashing tires? I’m not going to lie, it was one of…
Independence it seems has come like a wave over the town of Pinsk. Changes are occurring left and right and soon, there might even be genuine hope for a better future. News of this has come to me from a taxi driver working for the Russian Yandex corporation and little t, operating independently for the…
They say it’s -1 right now but it’s very clear. Not a cloud in the sky. I didn’t feel like sitting inside anymore. I was feeling antsy all over my body and just wanted to go outside. I’ll be honest with you, it’s hard for me to go outside. The damage done by the neighbors…
All right, I admit I get dark and I get by with a little help from my friends. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand it. First of all, I’ve never turned on the automatic translator until today for these guys. But they were setting up to do something like a serious podcast wearing black…
It was the circle that they would form at the end of the day that really held them together as brothers. To say the word brothers was perhaps incorrect. Females sat in the circle because they too enjoy the work of using stone as a building tool. These circles whereas important to everyone as the…
There is an argument on the table as to whether or not we should be using The Utopian! to air our rather sketchy underwear in public. To this answer we remain nonplussed. There is too much to say and we do not know how to say it. It seems that things have come to pass…