It’s hard to say. Pretty much everything in the world is a little good and a little bad. Nothing is truly wonderful and nothing is genuinely so horrible. Well, there are some pretty horrible things with very little good in them and unfortunately, very few truly beautiful things that are not sullied in some way. That’s not really the point. The point is just to be journalistic about things. Just take note of what the truth is and write it down and there it is.
So here is a list of things I want to talk about.
- The upcoming elections
- I cannot pay any attention to the American elections and there is no point in paying any attention to local elections. We don’t have elections. We have these popularity contest/quiz show/sleaz media presentations that are not worth watching or listening to. We have the same brain dead people saying the same brain dead things. There is no vote allowed to anyone and there is no way to protest without the police getting violent on you. We live in a time of martial law and Christian benevolence the likes of which I’ve never seen in my life. The place is filthy, the oil business will not be brought to heal, people are not allowed to think for themselves and we’re going to die. I can’t look at it. I can’t watch it. I’ve already done my due diligence. I’ve already given them my attention. Whoever thought I was enjoying that was crazy. I agreed to pay attention to see if I could be helpful and nobody cared. Or, they heard me and they ran like mice to protect their way of life. Too bad that way of life is the problem. Whatever.
- A bit about the lifestyle of my neighbors
- I know I’m being completely repetitive here because I’ve said all this a million times. The problem is that I’m trying to lead a healthy lifestyle. Literally, I am in my own hospital 24/7. I have complete restrictions on my diet and my activity. Even going outside makes me sick. The pandemic is ridiculous here and the illness never goes away. But it is the lifestyle of my neighbors that is making this happen. Literally they are continuing to do every single thing ecologically backwards in their lives. They, all of them, are simply drug addicts. There is no other way to describe them. They are not rational human beings. They are escape artists who self-medicate 24 hours a day. They are completely and utterly delusional and they are being run by Moscow in a way that only makes them feel really good about themselves. They are illness personified. They are sick people. It’s incredibly difficult for me to even be around them. Even get a phone call is making me sick now. There is no hope of getting to them. There is no hope of enlightenment. They will not let go of their cigarettes and alcohol and supermarket diets. They will not let go of their cars. They will not let go of these things they consider luxuries and that they are entitled to have.
- Again, not to be too repetitive but there is literally no difference between the street alcoholic drug addicts and the alcoholic drug addicts with jobs. They believe there’s a huge difference. They believe that they manage to keep jobs that come with a paycheck that, along with their criminal activities, pay for their extensive pleasures. The ability to afford drugs without begging does not make one a noble person. The ability to afford self-medication around the clock is not really a point of pride. They are the same empty bags of shit simply running away from how miserable it feels to live in their own houses and in their own bodies. They are just all sick people perpetuating a sick culture and sorry, they just don’t want to hear me when I talk. They don’t want to know that we probably should go the other way. They just keep running and hiding. Filth.
- At this moment, I’m doing kind of good but I’m just waiting for my evening bout of COVID. They usually give me an illness at the end of every day when they come home and sedate themselves. And then they leave to go about their day and I kind of heal but then 5:00 rolls around and the sickness returns. You never really get used to it but I’m not really working very hard and I kind of don’t care about a lot of my planting plans. There’s not much I can do so I’m just kind of taking it easy. I got to get a little exercise but still, such a compromise when even going outside to garden means that I’m going to have glands blow up on me in the evening. Like I said, I don’t recommend this place.
- It’s berry time
- I would not say that I did a great job planting this year. I had a hard time getting around most of the time. I don’t get around very well. Why am I still talking about this? Because the perennial stuff is kind of coming in. The berries are on their way and I’ve even had one or two strawberries. Not yet. It’ll be this week. But I tell you, it is really nice to forage as much as I can. I have unlimited greens of several varieties available. My beans and pickles and peas are starting to come up all over the place. I’ve got pumpkins and zucchinis and some potatoes on the way. It’s not the most beautiful version of a garden that I could possibly have but it’s functional enough. I have to go outside to get my greens everyday and the food I’m making is fantastic. Lots of soups and porridges stuffed with greens and full of flavor. Lots of stuff going in the pot and coming out incredibly tasty.
- I am very tired of being sick
- I think this is really the worst of it. I’m having very dark thoughts. It’s really not fair. I know factually that if my next door neighbors would just stop living there, I would probably snap into perfect health in about a week. Even two days. It’s just so thick. Their illness is so sick. The depths of their sickness is so contagious that I can’t get out from under it. But then you top it off with the fact that they really don’t have a clue how to do anything right. Even today, some neighbor is butchering their land because they believe they need to achieve some visual aesthetic of control in order to be acceptable. All they are doing is denying bees the right to the wildflowers and their eyes the right to witness the beauty of nature. All they do is kill and believe they are doing something important. It is literally like living with a teenage girl who doesn’t understand that her vibrator makes noise. There he goes again. Zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom. Take a look at any of them. Take a look at them as if you were a pretty girl at a bar looking for the best guy in the room. Do you see what I see? No thank you. No thank you alcoholic syphilis. I don’t buy your culture.
- A few more plays from the back catalog
- I have a bit of a problem in that I’m not exactly sure the order that I wrote the next few plays. I’m up to 2001 in my writing history and in the years 2001 and 2002, I produced six plays for theater. Each of them is unique and I really don’t want to be self-deprecating about them. I’ve often felt like I had a bit of an attitude towards my early work and like a lot of people, I cringe looking back. I don’t see that now. I actually see a lot of it is pretty good writing. I was definitely saying something. None of it is empty words.
- The plays are called the Bike Shop, an Italian Romance, Ownership, Listening Revisited and then there was a bit of a throwaway called 2 by 1, which was kind of a farce. The king of this period however was Pod Kablukom, My Russian, Belarusian and English production that was written for the local theater here. I believe the Italian Romance came first followed by the Bike Shop, Listening And then The Russian play. I guess we could also say that the book Being Had came from this period as well as some blogs that I kept going. This was definitely a period in my life where I believed that I was going to write and that’s what I wanted and that I had something to say.
- I ended up an English teacher to make money. Keep that in mind for all of you aspiring writers who believe that the profession might pay you some money. Better to keep it as a hobby. It’s easier on the nerves and I think you get better quality work when it’s for love rather than money.
- And the kittens
- They are getting bigger. I am not a veterinarian but I went on the internet and asked. The situation near my door will be going on for somewhere between 3 weeks and 5 weeks. Reggie Jackson is just super. She’s with the babies all the time only popping out to go hunting around. I left the door to the kitchen open and she managed to find one miserable little rat that was eating the top off of an oil bottle I had in a storage cabinet. Keeping the food packed away is a genuine issue if you live out in the country but it’s nice to have a cat. The kittens are all fine. I’ve had each of them in my hands for a little scratch and a hello and they seem friendly to my hand and my face. I don’t worry them. There’s not really much else to say. It’s not my job to do anything but clean up in there from time to time and make sure there’s fresh food and water. Reggie takes care of everything else and she’s doing just fine.
I don’t have much else to say except that I’m getting into a part of the year or I don’t really want to wear clothes very much. Part of it is the pandemic. You’re going to be spoiling your shorts if you choose to wear them. I continue to wear one pair of outside clothes, some bike pants that have suspenders and pockets so I can listen to music or audio books or something when I’m outside. I’m trying to keep the gardens in order and I’ve been really good about watering. I’m just not really doing all the gardening I’d like. I’m not really spending my days in the garden. I just get too sick sitting outside and then I come inside and then I can’t get up anymore.
It’s brutal living here. It’s one of the most hopeless experiences I’ve ever had in my life. That’s the problem. Nature is love. Trying to be healthy is love. Trying to live a healthy life is love. There just isn’t any love here coming from anyone else. Everyone here lives in perpetual hate and fear of each other. Everyone worries about what they look like to other people instead of taking care of their own lives as they should. Sad. Really sad.
And if you take the elections into consideration, nobody’s on a road out of here. That’s the problem with drug addicts. They’re not doing anything but medicating themselves and you can’t make them stop. Well, you can offer them a better lifestyle with genuine acceptance. We could just give everybody a check and ask everybody to be easy with each other. Quite a bit of those plays that I wrote came from semisocialist Canada or even being stuck in a situation without a daily job. There is something to be said for the creativity that you get from actually having free time. And if free time means less pollution, why exactly don’t we do this?
Shabbat Shalom. Take a day off tomorrow. This is my advice to everybody. Rain or shine, war or peace. Take a day off. Take a sick day. Eat some healthy food and try to relax. Really, it’s the best thing in the world. I don’t know how people actually live without it.
