Hi. Technically speaking, I am the guy. I’m the guy people wait for and are afraid of. I’m the guy who creates jealousy in our simple-minded opposition. We have opposition who exists simply to be opposing. They don’t listen and they don’t think and they don’t act wisely. They love pageantry. They love dress up. They love appearances. They love drama. We don’t want any of this getting involved in our agriculture. We just want people who understand how to do their job and who are willing to do what is necessary to make sure that the crop comes in.
So we have heard from the opposition tonight. They tell us that there is a conservative politician who reads the farm report publicly, who puts their name on it, and who pretends to be the leader making decisions. The point is we don’t have such a person. We have everybody who is with us. We are one big sloppy mess going in the same direction and wanting the same things. Peace, food, a healthy community and a way to solve problems that doesn’t create more problems. Everybody has their eyes on our plants and our food. Everybody is participating in the grow and everybody is sharing information. Me? I’m a really good grower. I’m a really good grower and by fate, I know some people who deal with politics and so I am a bit of a celebrity only because of this. And yes, I agree that my voice should be a bit public and that I have this responsibility. I am not the Superman who makes all the decisions myself. I am just one and have pretty good grammar for writing paragraphs.
We are fighting pollution. We will be fighting pollution forever. Something is wrong with the Sun. The sun itself is fine. The star is fine. There is no great change in our star. The problem is what happens to the light and the energy after it reaches our atmosphere. We have so much garbage in the atmosphere that it plays with the rays of the sunshine. It refracts the light and changes its direction. It prisms the light and changes its spectrum. It changes the water holding capacity and therefore we are always creeping towards desertification and drying out simply by being here. Human beings and human activity are basically cancer unless we work extremely carefully, clean up after ourselves and use only organic materials to help grow our food. And of course that we are willing to show up and be everything our garden needs us to be.
Yeah, anyway I was just telling this guy that I don’t mind getting spiffle caked. I understand the point of view of the common alcoholic but this is a different thing. I can understand people who like to be a little drunk to get out of the mundane nature of daily life. And it’s true. It is hard to get up for the game day in and day out without having some sense of excitement of it all. The alcoholics rage against the machine loud and long and require a ton of resources and long periods of patience and waiting to produce their alcohols. We just harvest a plant. They need kilos of fruit or organic material. We use nothing. And in a flash, even mundane moments have an element of freshness to them. New eyes. New profundity. Genius. The ability to see things as a child does for just a moment. Outstanding. And with music? Forget about it. I vote for spiffle cake.
We have had mild infestation in the potatoes. The potato beetles exist in small numbers. When we see them on the plant, we take them off the plant. Very carefully. Whenever any of our people pass by a potato plant, we are looking for potato beetles and we simply stop them. We don’t stop any of the other carnivore animals who appear on the plants and we don’t stop any of the other animals as they go through their lives. I’m talking about insects here. All beneficial life is allowed to carry on and we use no chemicals to spoil the land. We just remove the problems and we do it by hand. We have potatoes this year.
Concerning our grain fields and rice patties, we’re going to be okay. We are going to have bulk food again in our storage lockers. It’s going to be reasonable quality and everybody is going to have basically all the rations we need. Our projections as always are set up for 150% of the highest standard of food security we can get per person. These are standard numbers using all the diversity we have available. We make use of the land we have and generally speaking, we are not going to have any problem making quotas. We have no problems with the grain.
As far as fruit and nuts and berries, we do not have currently a full quota. We are going to be a little tight in certain commodities this year simply because we are fighting pollution and an opposition that likes to waste our time in unnecessary dramas. We unfortunately failed in certain areas and certain commodities were planted late and some a little too soon. We don’t blame anyone for these human errors and all of our decisions were within normal parameters of historical planting mixed in with the best science has to offer from a collective group of well-meaning people. We did not do everything perfectly so we are going to be a little short on fruit this year. Our apologies to everybody. Please use discretion and don’t rely so much on fresh fruit for 100% of your diet during the season. Take your sugars reasonably this year.
As far as the mental health of our community goes, I would say that these are troubling times. We are fighting to hear voices. We have disinformation. We are told that certain things are important to consider and that having the right people and the right faces as leadership is the most important thing. This is not true and it has never been true. The only thing that is true is that we care collectively and we share our voices. We are unfortunately in the middle of a season where there is a lot of vindictiveness and hate. We have people begging for our attention and we have a celebrity cult attempting to live.
Our current decision is that they live. Our current decision is that we do our agriculture reports and we do advise our people how to be aware when going to work in the morning. But it must also be clear that my particular voice is not the thing that you are waiting for. It isn’t how deep or how high my voice is pitched or what my sex is or who my family is or who we were in the previous generation. You only need to know that I am one of many people and I am doing the best job I can and all my recommendations end up mixing in very well with everyone else’s. We are plus minus 5% for errors. It’s a lot. Our normal parameters are 2%-3%. This is war. This is working amidst confusion. Our choice is long-term stability and so we tell you everything transparently and ask for continued responsibility from every member of the community.
So this is all I have to say. Don’t worry too much. We are not in any real danger. We’re just not going to have so much fruit. Maybe next year we will be better. Maybe next year we will not have so much pollution in the air. Thank you for listening to me. Please enjoy the remainder of your days.
From our conservative leadership, who represent what is currently seen as the opposition, on expansion and community growth.
Well, we’ve heard the farm report. They’ve taken the middle road just like they always do. And what does that mean for the rest of us? That’s right. We suffer. Always we suffer. Deprivation. Always we work with some mathematical model that no one really knows is true or not true. Okay you can be some kind of super genius and use a calculator and do a caloric count and make a list of available foods that theoretically work within the land we have to work with and then we jumble it all together and we take our best shot. It’s a big hot mess! It’s always everybody and no one ever just gets to live our lives already, am I right? Aren’t you tired of being told what to do?
That’s why we believe our stewardship package is what is necessary going forward. We think people work darn hard and they deserve a little relaxation and comfort at the end of the day. Sure, we have health care. But without proper incentive and competition, how do you know you’re getting the best doctor? How do you even know your doctor is competent? In groupthink, do you really think you’re getting the highest quality physician? What about the guy who was first in class? What about the guy who really brings the goods at the table? Don’t you want to have first class as an available ticket?
Specialization. We need to allow people to fully explore their specialties. And we need to allow people with special abilities to have special lives. If you really are the one at your job, if everyone knows that you are alpha and numero Uno, The last thing you want to lead is a common life. That’s what we’re talking about. We are special people. We are the survivors of the DNA wars. And we will be the survivors when all of this liberal nonsense finally goes away and we can make of this place would it should be.
Tell the truth. Blah blah blah you go to work in the morning. You know you could do your job drunk if you had to because you know you can punch anyone in the nose who wants to say anything to you. Aren’t you tired of being told that the cocktail hour is meaningful only to alcoholics? What about the traditions that built this world? What about agreeing to the natural process of fermentation and to join the circle willingly knowing that it was only your body that mattered all along. If you know how to do the job and you’re obligated to do it, why is it wrong to have access to a cocktail if you are an adult. You’ve earned it. What? You can’t have a beer? Utopian life and you can’t even have a beer unless you make it yourself? We can’t have factory beer and wine available for the masses? We can’t have the factories we need?
The truth is we are only occupying a very small percentage of the planet right now. Of course there is great logic to controlling the population and no one is arguing against this. Well, we are arguing against the pain that the young people feel when they are denied their true destiny and not even allowed to reproduce naturally. Just to be natural. All of this talk of truth and our young people scream to be natural. We at leadership agree. Let the young people be free to enjoy the party that is life. And let’s provide for that party. Let’s make sure our young wild people, right there in the full thrust of life, have every opportunity to live like lions. And the rest of us can simply clean up the messes along the way. But at least we truly have our natures. Truly at least here we are natural. We have the right to be who we are.
So in the upcoming decision, we urge you to vote leadership. You have to want leadership in order for leadership to work. No one is taking your independence. Nobody is taking your vote away. All we are saying is that there are certain decisions that are best left to a small group of people controlling mass production. All we have to allow is a little mass production. And the truth is, we can expand our holdings 50%. Whatever minor harm we may or may not do by reorganizing the agriculture into particular harmonious places instead of everything together as we do now, we will just take more land. It’s ours. We have no opposition. No one is really going to prevent us from expanding our territories if we want it. That’s all we’re saying. We are who we are and everyone needs a little room to get away sometimes. Everyone needs their privacy. Vote leadership and go back to leading a private life again.
A rebuttal from some random guy who got picked by the algorithm to write the rebuttal essay.
Yo. What time is it? 118 a.m. . I guess I’m not sleeping. I must have picked up my device. Is it wrong to pick up your device if you can’t sleep but 1:00 in the morning?
Oh great. I get to write the essay about why leadership is bullshit.
What is my state of mind at this moment? Do I need something? Yeah. I need to get high. How do I represent this in literature. I’m going to take some organic plant material I grew in my personal gardening space into a contraption that will allow me to enjoy the smoke from this organic material without causing great harm to my body. Smoking itself is a general negative and it really does demand that you take care of your body otherwise. It is a negative and so you have to understand that you’re causing a little harm for a little happiness. If you understand this is the situation, it’s up to you. Some people prefer to eat. I’m going to smoke this and then we can talk. You are welcome to join me.
Editor’s note: this is a work of utopian fiction. Let there be no thinking or intentions that anyone is physically demonstrating anything at this moment. At the least, this is a bit of street theater to be enjoyed by the masses. We are poking fun at those belligerent fools who believe they control us. We are satirists. We fight the power. So please, if this guy wants to have a hootenanny before writing his essay, this is in no way the editorial position of the Utopian!
Well okay then.
So I’m the random guy who gets to talk for the whole party. Is that what we have to call ourselves? It’s everybody so yo everybody. For the purposes of this document, we’re going to be the party for a second. Political party means party. I think they want you to get drunk and talk amongst yourselves about political things. This is where we stand around and do the cocktail bump bump. That’s what all of this is about.
So look, I’m not an alcoholic. Me and all of my Utopian friends. Is it that we don’t or can’t drink alcohol or any other problem with drinking fermented juices or deeply distilled alcohols is such that we can’t live without it? Well, this is the daily demonstration of my people. We don’t need it because apparently we don’t need it. We don’t go to it. We don’t invent events so that we can drink.
Personally you can say that a lot of things are the inevitable downfall that led to global warming and the complete destruction of Earth’s ecosystems. There were a lot of individual types of cancer that ate away at it but it was the culmination of all the cancers together that eventually killed the patient. Alcohol, tobacco and firearms. Meat and machines. Factories and large scale projects.
The pursuit of drugs while cultivating cancer. How else do you describe the desecration caused by the oil business? We can’t handle any part of the job with our modern technology. The tubes leak everywhere and everywhere they leak is ecological damage. Every waterway destroyed is like the veins and capillaries in your body being ruined. Poisoning the body. And the corruption. To what end must we understand that they are just fighting for a superior class of drugs to do their escape acts.
I choose life. I choose nature. I say we get our food from nature and we can eat some pretty good food just by being creative with what we grow. I mean, you can’t really eat the same food everyday. You need different food. I need different food. I like having lots of freedom to choose what kind of ingredients go in my food. I don’t really like sweet so much but I need it sometimes. And a kind of like spicy now and again even crazy mad stupid spicy or even just the hint of this death being in the food just to tightrope walk a bit. So I like having a specialty garden to go along with standard community grows. I mean I got my corn. I got my oats. I got my wheat. I can have bread. I can have as much bread as I want and I can even not eat bread most days of week but by cracky, I can have bread on the Shabbos. For me this is enough right now. Everybody has their dietary needs and we meet them at 150%, so we know that half of what we grow gets shared with people who need it or composted to be used next year. Or just festival fun throwing tomatoes at each other because nobody wants to eat them anymore and everybody wants to have fun.
So these leadership people are telling me we need more. More of what? Who gets more? The big project people get more to do. The big project people get to be important and walk around and take meetings and waste resources. The big project people get to live that executive life where they have all of the delicious things in life prepared for them as if in a fine restaurant and life takes place in a five-star hotel. We are talking about the elegant class who doesn’t even do their own gardens. The ruination of the planet Earth. Global warming itself. The assholes who truly believe that style is more than substance. They truly believe they are beautiful. Egotistical narcissists. Absolute drug addicts from sucking their own dicks. Licking their own pussies to be fair. Cat joke.
Mellow out! Do you know this term. I think it has something to do with the harshness and brashness of newness. Some people like this spiky texture. Some people like feeling things sometimes when they themselves are immune from changes in texture. For those of us who do not walk in the weather knowing that this weather will affect the food don’t understand what it’s like living on planet Earth. Those people tend to get a little crusty around the genitals. Those people tend to lose sensitivity. Those people tend to drift off away from the physical reality of life. Those people tend to be escape artists and rely on drugs and fast food and a fast lifestyle to keep their minds occupied because they are technically insane. The insane asylum takes all the money in the world right now. All the money and all the resources just to feed the insane.
The active mellowing is when you let something rest and grow. In winemaking, it is the time when you’re not busting in there to get that liquid down yourself as fast as possible. When you’re not guzzling from the still. Mellowing is the time that something ages. And it is true that magic happens in the aging process. The thing is that this is a nuance. Understanding the nuance of allowing for the passage of time is one of the ultimate accomplishments of man. That we should be able to subvert our base instincts for a really long time knowing that well into the future will be a great fortune is always something to look forward to. That’s hope. If you want to talk about aging some alcohol for a party in 5 years or in 15 years, by all means I will drink that toast with you if I’m around. I will make that bet because the effort is so great that it would be insulting for me to refuse it. Sharing such a moment would indeed indicate a real connection between friends and in this all of the positive wonderfulness that comes along with a little alcohol will be a part of my life forever.
In the meanwhile, spiffle cakes. I like spiffle cakes. Spiffful cakes are easy. All the profundity you need and then what? Life. That’s all it is. It’s just living your life. I like all of my friends are in the industry of life. We formally accept the obligation to be responsible for our own food and for the degeneracy of the ancestors that made us hairless apes and utter fools. We pray to the gods for forgiveness accept that there is only one God to be feared and revered and never insulted, and that is our glorious nature. One represents the other in and of themselves. Self idolatizing. It becomes its own thing simply by its existence. If I need to pray, I am indeed praying to the winds. Please be kind to our food. We are being as kind as we can to the rest of the ecosystem. We are doing everything we can not to make you angry. We are expressing love and begging for your forgiveness.
Why do I want more? My body feels good. I feel strong. I feel like I have a lot to give. When I am called upon to do heavy work, I’m okay with that. I’m okay with getting down and dirty. And I’m a sportsman. I show up to my games. I’m in the rotation. I will play my best game. And you know, I have a woman. She’s right here sleeping beside me. Is she happy? Well, she’s a woman. She is a work in progress. But you know, there’s a difference between a feral cat and a house cat. There’s a level of treatment to keep that pussy relaxed. Out in nature, that baby is going to be hard as nails. We all need to mellow out and that means part of my job is keeping my baby mellow. So you know, I know how to do my job.
She has enough love. She’s going to be okay. And I tell her that everyday.
Actually now that I’m thinking about it, I feel kind of stupid for not asking her to be a part of this. I know I am the official essay writer on why we don’t really need leadership in our lives. It’s not that she is my leader but she’s kind of the object of my affections. Yeah, I think I better do this. Hey baby. Hey baby. Listen, they asked me to write an essay here about leadership and what we think about it and I thought I better ask you your opinion.
She said shut them down and then went back to sleep. She just kicked me a little bit. I think she’s happy just listening. Are you going to talk? Okay she didn’t say anything. I get it.
I don’t think we’re going to have children. It’s okay if we don’t have children. We know that at some point some things are going to get weird for us. At least we know this because there’s a lot of literature about this. This is one of the warning things. People need to have their minds occupied. There’s a particular type of life that comes with having kids. It’s that full-on outside tension 24 hours a day. And for people who understand this day-to-day passion in a slave society, this is about the only way life touches anybody severely enough to cause emotion. So much pain. Only the most excruciating possible worry. It’s as if someone studied the anatomy and psychology of the human animal and created a self-perpetuating machine that delved into the greatest horror possible and exploited it endlessly.
Yeah. So the genuine policy of our community is one in and one out. So neither of us particularly believe that we are in any way extraordinary. I think I’m a good man like everyone else but I think I’m kind of standard issue. When I look around, I’m pretty average like everyone else. We have some big boys and you know, women have their little thing and they still do the dominant business. But at the same time, I don’t think either of us needs the perpetual headache of child maintenance. We are veggies. We don’t necessarily need the insanity of meat. I don’t think either of us genuinely needs to raise a child to feel particularly more satisfied. I think we’re okay and if by some strange circumstance some young person comes into our life and likes us and likes hanging around with us for a while, why, while they are here, we will be great parents. The best parents. The best parents anyone could possibly be and it’s part of our community understanding that we do this. I don’t mind. She don’t mind. We don’t mind. And so far, we seem to have a lot of happy children exactly how things are. I don’t know what childhood happiness means but keeping the place clean enough for a beautiful childhood is good enough for me. I don’t need more.
So exactly what do we need to expand for? What more do we need? We seem to have it figured out. We seem to have a sweet spot. We don’t make unnecessary garbage. We live in genuine ecological peace with the world and with each other and we have the patience and understanding that the weather will tell us how good we were as people. Thus we are inevitably the children of God if we want to be. Every year the weather will tell us how happy it is. If we are pleasing in the eyes of the Lord, we get to continue and do this again.
By allowing for everything outside of us to be as it must be without influencing it in any way is the greatest monument in the history of mankind. We have made our communities into parks and what we used to consider parks is now everything else on the planet Earth. And we only take up exactly as much space mathematically as is the sweet spot for such a disastrous species such as us. We are cancer so we moderate ourselves so that we can exist with our host and not kill it by becoming too big.
So there you go. You guys asked me to say something for the community about leadership and whether or not we should listen to these great plans of mass construction. You understand my vote. I love my community because my community gives me everything. Because we work together as a team, everybody is like me. Everybody’s happy. Nobody’s worried. We’re just taking it easy and enjoying it for what it is. We get to live in the garden. Listen to my words. I am aware of what we have done. We are living in the garden and we feel this is a holy thing. We believe we are worshiping God by living in the way that we do. That’s why we grow our own food. We justify our existence by only taking what we need to provide for our happiness without causing any harm to the world around us. I believe in this with all my heart.
I say no to leadership. Hell, I vote everyday. I vote with pretty much everything I do in the morning when we do the bulk work and I vote with pretty much everything I do with everything else I do in my life. I am leadership. We are leadership. We’ve got a basic framework to work in and we make our little parcel of the world sing. Ain’t that right babe? Come on, aren’t you even going to kick me a little? Shit. I think she really did go to sleep.
And because it is proper to do so. The floor now goes to conservative leadership for words to us about their great plans for the future.
Lazy. Lazy boy. Laziness. Just lying around all day. Lying around and doing nothing. We all know the Christian traditions. We all know what it means to avoid the seven deadly sins. We all know what it means when we say God. When we are talking about God, when Christians talk about God, this is something else. This is all the blood and the violence and that it’s all part of life.
We understand this idea that if people enjoy their lives without having children and the mathematics point out the risk factors against environmental damages caused by the existence of the community, there is planned Parenthood. We all understand planned Parenthood. We all understand this old political chestnut. We all understand this freedom of choice business. We all understand what it means to be a great liberal. We all understand what it means truly be a snowflake.
What we are talking about is men and women who aspire to greatness. We’re not talking about run of the mill factoring nonsense. We’re not talking about standard. Standard is boring. What we want is more. What we want is to taste the razor’s edge of life and to live like we could die at any minute. We need to understand how brave we are to live the way we do. We need the world to know that we are worth it. We are worth more because we are better. We aspire.
So the point is that there are budgetary concerns that are just not worth looking at. There are numbers that play that are simply numbers at play and the truth of the matter is that a 1.5 rule works both ways because we could also take 1.5 on top of everything else and then we could really make things exciting. We could really build some amazing things and we could have available to ourselves such pleasures, such incredible pleasures. And all available and all we have to do is want it.
That’s right. Do you hear me My lazy friend. I’ll have a cocktail to you. Here is a toast. Here is sacred alcohol. Made by the factory. Just factory alcohol available to the masses. No one has to go through the effort of growing fruit for something they will drink in 5 years. We don’t need anything like that. We can produce so much alcohol that everyone will be able to toast anytime they want to. So let’s toast here. Simple toast. Here’s to you my friend. Chin chin.
There now. Are we amused? Why do you fight something so deeply satisfying as that? The change in mood is instantaneous and the sense of relaxation is there. Nobody is saying we need to drink to the end of the bottle. There are times when you want to drink the whole bottle or even two bottles. Even three or four if you are into extreme things. But what’s wrong with this. Just hands working together for a common purpose to produce something people want. Factory food. Factory food and specialization for a special group of people who deserve the best.
We are leadership. We want people who believe that taking a cruise is a darn good idea if you have a good captain at the helm. If you have good leadership, you know that the buffet is going to be well stocked and the entertainment will start right on time.
Luxury. Influence. Power. All of the things that people dream about but most are afraid to try for. Vote leadership for a better life.
For one last rebuttal, spiffle cakes was no longer available. So we chose another random fellow. I believe our friend is also an enthusiastic participant in life and but a candidate for fatherhood.
Hi. 2:35 a.m. and I’m supposed to write an article about why I choose or do not choose to vote for leadership. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here. I don’t know how coherent I’m supposed to be. I vote no. No to leadership. It’s bullshit. It’s a scam. It’s a pyramid scheme. They are selling land in Florida. It’s non-existent. It’s a hoax. They are grifters. They are conmen and confidence women. They pray on your confidence. They tell you a story and you believe them and then they take your money. It’s a sham. It’s a shell game. Literally.
Is that enough? I don’t really know what to say. I think everyone just lives their own lives. We get it that this is what we get. These are our friends and these are our parents and that’s it. I’m hoping to have kids because my girl wants to have kids. We know that there are those who do and those who don’t and she is awful determined. I know it some people say that I am handpicked because she liked how I looked and maybe that’s true. But I try to be a good person. NetZero. Be a good dad. Be a good guy. I have my talents. I work hard. I practice and I do my job.
I’ve drunk. I’ve tried alcohol. I’m okay with getting waffle coned now and again. I don’t mind. I think it’s a good thing. But we are on a plan and there’s a certain tension here. There’s a certain level of tension that you agreed to when you agree to be a parent. We understand that the world is easygoing and we understand that sometimes we are going to come off as being a little tight to people who don’t bear this responsibility. And yes, we know that we’re going to have a lot of non-tight friends around the children and that we’re not going to have a society where everyone is tight all the time, just the ones who agreed to be parents of children. It’s a big responsibility. I’m one of those people who agree to be like this. I’m a little tense.
Is there politics in my life? Unfortunately, there is because there is no guarantee that the community agrees that we are okay. You do end up feeling kind of naked. It is almost like we are naked icons and the entire process of child making is through us. People watch us. People like to watch us.
I guess that means I’m a blogger of course. All parents are bloggers. Everybody’s a blogger in their way. Everybody has their social face in case people want to know how they are. We all understand that. But when you are a parent, it always means something. Some people say we go to the front of the line. Some people say we have our own line. And we agree that there are moments when things really are a little fragile and we are going to agree to keep potential dangers at a minimum. We agree to be a part of the cycle of life including how it feels to go through it. We agree to go through it.
So this is known as an enlightened way of seeing the world. I know I am a part of a community and that we all act within the community to help the community survive. And I know we have our math and our policies. And I very well know that the birth rate is intimately connected to the death rate. I am aware of my connection to the people on their way out as our potential child or children are on the way in. We understand it’s a numbers game but we also understand that we are building people, good people, who will be there for us all during the time of their lives. Our hopes and dreams for a future.
I understand that leadership says that there could be even more. More excitement. More texture. Finer materials. Pushing the boundaries to achieve some sense of taste. Making use of resources to please the senses for a moment in the hope of making a great deal of money. Market dominance. Meat eventually. And all the brutality that comes with it.
I say no. I don’t want leadership. We have leadership already. I’m a leader. All my friends are leaders. Everyone in our community is a leader. Being a leader simply means being a good community member. Like I said. Standard issue.
So if I am representative of the family vote, no, we don’t need them. We don’t need to be slaves to pyramid builders. We don’t need to be mass-produced and we don’t need to be fed mass-produced products. I think our community will do just fine because it’s made up of good fine people that care. That’s all I care about and that’s all I’m gambling my life on. I will continue to gamble on my community. I am not going to gamble on leadership. The leadership people are never actually a part of any of our communities. They are just like a disease that comes to visit us and take a lot of our resources with them.
