I gave a thought today about dealing with my particular situation. For most of my life, I’ve heard people talk about this but something about my own physicality led me to believe that this was a myth. Currently, I’m having more than a few health problems and the level of negativity that I gained from my neighbors is becoming rather epic. They say that you don’t really understand something until it goes away. I think that that’s true except it’s more true that when someone goes away and then comes back, then you really understand the level of burden.
Specifically, my neighbors and that rather tragic red van of theirs went away for a couple of days. This was this last weekend. I don’t speak to them so I had no idea what the story was. All I could see was that there was no car and in the evening it had not come back. The next day it had not come back again. I was happily dreaming about an auto accident or perhaps she had been arrested for a multitude of logical reasons why someone would arrest someone. All I knew is that it seemed that she was gone or they were gone and that was it. I did not allow myself to get too happy about things. I said I would take them as they come.
But then amazingly enough, I had an absolute rush of energy yesterday. Boy, when your ambition comes back, it’s really something. I began to recognize all of the things that I had been failing to do. I realize that if I truly wish to do them, it would be simply a matter of fighting. Physical disabilities aside, if you’re not working for money, you have all day to do what you need to do. However, you do need the motivation to do this. This is energy of course. If you have the energy, anyone can make their dreams come true even without anybody else’s help.
I brought out the lighter of my two Japanese digging tools. I like this one a lot better than the heavier one. Suddenly I was bashing out the grass growing out of the wood chips in between my boxes. How simple it was. I didn’t need one of those string trimmers. Just a few hits and the grass was destroyed down to the ground. It didn’t matter about the wood chip mulch. Suddenly everything was in form. This in combination with the fact that my boxes are all growing really made me quite happy. I was gardening. This is why I had come here. I was working outside in the sunshine. Certainly things would be better. I could feel my health returning. My positivity was rising. I was ecstatic. I was myself again.
And today they came back. They came back in the morning and then left again so I thought maybe they had moved away and had only come back to retrieve more things. That was too much to hope for. They’ve been here all day and with them is the usual diseases. My neck is stiff and my glands are as big as basketballs. It’s been cold the last few days but today it was very hot so I had to water. By the time I got back equal to their house, I didn’t even have the strength to hold the hose and had to lay it down next to the plants. I was eating berries to try to find some energy just to finish. I was miserable. All I wanted to do was die.
I heard a joke one time. A guy goes to the dentist and he is told that he needs oral surgery desperately. He offers anesthesia but the patient declined. The dentist advises him that the surgery itself is perhaps the most painful thing a human being can endure and that he will be screaming within 5 minutes without it. The man simply says it’s not necessary. During the operation, he neither flinches nor streams. More than an hour of drilling and digging and cutting and there is nary a single reaction from it. When the job is done, the dentist congratulates him on the single greatest act of bravery He has ever seen and asked how it could be possible. The patient tells him there had been two events that had changed his life forever and now pain was absolutely nothing to him. The first was that his wife of 20 years had left him for his best friend. They had been together daily for the entire time and her leaving was a great shock. The second was when she came back.
So I’m sitting outside on what would normally be a pleasant day except I don’t think there are any pleasant days when you live next to something that smells like a whorehouse. I went online and I asked for a definition and I found the following site and a little bit of text. The following is from an article called energy vampires and it is from verywellmind.com.
Five signs of an energy vampire and how to cope with them.
Energy vampires are people who sap your emotional energy, either intentionally or unconsciously. They could be friends, family members, partners, colleagues, or neighbors, who feed on your care and attention and can leave you feeling stressed, drained, exhausted, and overwhelmed.
Relationships with energy vampires are often toxic. They can cause you to feel physically and emotionally drained, particularly if you’re an empath and highly attuned to the emotions of the people around you.
This article explores the types of energy vampires, the signs and characteristics of energy vampires, and some strategies that can help you protect yourself.
At the end, the article basically says leave them alone and limit the amount of contact you can possibly have with them. I’ve been doing all of these things for quite some time and it’s been somewhat helpful. The article itself is pretty simply written. I can’t say anyone put on airs. The author is not an energy vampire. This is probably a lesson to me about extra verbiage. Maybe it’s best to just say what you need to say and then be done with it.
The problem is that there is a proximity to this place that never goes away. It’s one thing when you have people that you meet along the way along your social path. It’s another thing when they just live there and there is absolutely no escape from the noise or the smell or in my case, all of the diseases that they bring with them when they travel. I don’t think I could have possibly written any more about them than I have. I don’t know if I wasted the space of the upcoming elections book but perhaps they were a perfect model for the point of the books. If we are going to be the subject of the current political system that we have, we are basically agreeing to be drained. If we insist upon electing other people to make rules for us and give them privileges far and beyond anything any common citizen is allowed to have, what else can we expect?
It’s an interesting thing to live with. It is like a disease really. If you have cancer, it is a really deplorable thing to have this thing inside you that eats all your energy and destroys all your functions. Literally, that feels like what I have. It is human cancer. Every single aspect of their life is the polar opposite of anything that I believe a human being should do to live well. I’m simply talking about the conscientious understanding of living in at least relative harmony with nature and with your neighbors. These folks have no interest whatsoever in any such philosophy. This is even true if they are taking care of children. They believe every single resource in the world is available to them to consume and they have absolutely no responsibility as long as they have the money to pay for it. The effects are so evident, one wonders why they never see it themselves.
I grew up with a rather horrible mother. A Bostonian friend described her once as a blauser. A blouser is a train wreck of a woman who simply believes in all of her femininity that she can do whatever she wants at any given time and will never be held accountable for any of it. I deeply empathize with the young boy who lives there. There is a baby there too who constantly cries. It never occurs to them that they bring sickness to their house and to their people. In fact, they really don’t understand that if this place is literally a ghetto right now, a haven for drunk and drug addicts, that they are absolutely a part of the problem and not observers of it. They physically, by their actions, contribute to the downward slide of everyone who lives here.
I’ve seen signs of this. I don’t really relate to her anymore but when little t was running errands from me, I noticed that she was quite paranoid being near my windows in the front room. I told her that there were no sight lines and nobody could see her. Nevertheless she could never rest in the room because she was sure she was being looked at it all times. Even Quasimodo one time when I made a noise to distract him, looked immediately to their house. I asked him directly why he prefers their company to that of his wife. The energy vampire is very powerful creature. This is especially true to people who don’t understand the concept or even believe they are allowed to have energy of their own.
As always, I go back to a criticism from a Florida journalist. Do not believe in the credibility of Florida journalism but nevertheless, in addition to being told the amount of blood necessary to write a good story for their paper, I was told that in speaking about the things I do, I am obviously an ego writer. I have nothing to do with the public good and I am never speaking about universal terms. I don’t actually know how you write universally. I don’t know how group people actually write. Well, I know that they don’t actually write, they put things on paper that they feel they are supposed to. This is true in both professional writers and in commenters on the internet. There is just a rather limitless amount of people who do not think for themselves in any way and yet feel the need for self-expression. I sure fire sign of an energy vampire. I can’t say anything on the internet without being trolled immediately. I’m just too juicy.
But this is a universal problem. It is an unbelievably vast problem that the world has been trained to be consumers. The world has been told to acquire resources as quickly as possible without any regard for the circumstances. I noticed this when I was writing plays back in the United States at the beginning of the millennia. I was constantly complaining about the lack of a single beautiful thing being allowed to exist. Anything that was consumable becomes consumed. Anything beautiful becomes a tourist attraction. Any human being who even looks nice suddenly becomes the object of attention.
This is a starvation culture. It is a culture where no one generates their own energy but yet feels compelled to steal everything they can from the world. People do not rely on their independent ideas. People wait to be told if they are correct or not. I agree that I do check the internet sometimes to find out if one of my ideas has been tried before. But at the same time, sometimes I try things even though according to everything you read on the internet I am wrong. I have a rather successful salad garden going on right now that was put together so stupidly I am shocked at how successful it is. Literally, I just dumped grass clipping into a box and put one bag of planting soil over the top. I doubt it was even two or three centimeters of dirt. After that I just dropped the seeds in however they wanted to fall and covered the entire thing with wood chips. Everything was wrong except the place is full of young salad. It is a grazing Utopia and everyday there is something tasty to nibble on.
I don’t really know the answer to this. It’s like dealing with global pollution. There is no single idea. There is no corporate motivation. There is no law that can be passed. The answer is exactly that people have to agree to be themselves and to look out for their own interests while simultaneously remembering that they cannot take too much or car of harm to their environment. It is symbiosis that we need. It is harmony that needs to be addressed. People need to try to be good to themselves and to others and their environment. The only problem is that all teaching now is via media that is run by a political machine that wishes to keep the economic system going at all costs.
I think the problem lies systemically with the fact that the entire market of our market economy is basically narcotic. I’m not specifically talking about things that are classified as drugs, although this is certainly part of it. What I’m talking about is selling things to people based upon spastic emotional need rather than making useful products available to help people live well. Gone are the days where someone would buy flour from a store and bring it home in a sack. Locally, you used to be able to buy sour cream out of buckets the way you would buy pickles from barrels on the streets of New York. Everything now is prepackaged and of course the garbage from this makes the problem a million times worse. The garbage and the pollution and the extent of national or global product sales is just too much stress for the world to deal with ecologically and almost nothing that we buy has a lasting effect. Just like anything that would be considered a recreational escapist drug, you take it and you feel better for a few minutes and then the pain and misery return and you have to buy some more.
So with the upcoming elections in America, it seems that nothing has ever changed. I get asked from time to time why I’m doing so little work. The answer is that I have no motivation to do more. I wrote 4 years of material. I wrote about the year ahead of the 2020 election and then I continued writing for three more. I’ve done my presidential term and I don’t particularly feel the need to be reelected. I also feel absolutely no desire to participate in it. I have no desire to become a commodity or a drug. Oh, it would be nice to get paid for my effort but that’s not really the most important thing. The most important thing to me is to have my words out there so that people understand it. And again, this is not a vanity project and I am not writing about myself or my own personal misery. I’m talking about what it’s like living in this world. You want to throw what I say away because I live here or because I do this or because I once did that, well, that’s how we got into this mess in the first place. Like Donald Trump throwing away human beings with decades of public service simply by giving them a funny nickname, we throw away all information simply by redefining it and objectifying it in a word or two. The only problem is, it only works for energy vampires. It doesn’t work for people trying to live a decent life. We still have to work for it like I think you’re supposed to.
So in the end, it’s all pretty merciless and the energizing. It doesn’t give me any happiness to know that everyone in that house feels exactly the same way as I did. When the daughter is there with her baby, I’m sure she’s quite happy until her mom comes home. I’m sure Mom is happy until her husband comes home and vice versa. I’ve seen this with my own eyes. They are terrified of each other. And I’ve seen it with Quasimodo across the street. It gets into your nervous system. The trains you. It keeps you on a downward trend. And in the case of my neighborhood, it keeps all the alcoholics alcoholic and all the drug addicts drug addict because there is never a light at the end of the tunnel for anybody. There is no possible hope. They’re just going to destroy you again because that’s all they do.
By the way, I am talking about the Russians. You could think I’m talking about my direct neighbor who just happened to be Russian. But I’m talking about the Russians generally. It’s too bad the American marketplace doesn’t realize how infected they are. It’s too bad nobody understands what energy vampires really are and especially what it’s like to have a country with eight time zones adopt American consumerism as a way of life. When I was in New York a long time ago, a vegan friend of mine told me the world would end if the Chinese ever discovered McDonald’s hamburgers. That is exactly what has happened. That is exactly what we’re living through and that includes the wars and the pandemic and all of the human misery that we ignore because of course, it’s all just jealousy because other people want our stuff.
Editor’s note: In the future, personal blogs are going to be published over at the museum at Green2022.org. All work published here in the Utopian! Will be business only having to do with the ecology and the struggle to find a more sustainable way of life in the faith of the great tragedy that we are all living in right now. If some works disappear from the Utopian, they will be found at the museum under the heading of the daily blog.
