I had the unfortunate displeasure of running across the following video today. I would not go so far as to say it ruined an otherwise wonderful day. I don’t remember a day that has not been ruined. People ruin other people’s days as a hobby. This is not everybody. Some people work really hard not to ruin people’s days. Other people have nothing better to do apparently and so they like doing this. It makes them feel good. It makes them feel useful. To really ruin a day makes them feel like they have accomplished something. Their lives are now worth something. They are worth something. The value is understandable.
The advice I have for the president of Ukraine is not really so complicated. I think what I have to say is understandable and would be understandable to anybody. It has something to do with obsequiousness. Obsequiousness is also known as cow towing, ass kissing, boot licking, ring kissing or, if we are to go beyond the levels of decency acceptable by the Christian coalition, good old-fashioned cocksucking. This is not to say that the character of the president of Ukraine is such. I just think it has become a manner that he has had no choice but to accept once he accepted the role of being president. He has to practice detente, the act of speaking eloquently as a statesman. Perhaps in popular culture, this would be the way that the dwarf and the bald guy with no testicles would speak to each other in Game of Thrones. It is all about language really. There is no body to speak of so we just smooth each other over with wonderful words showing how little passion we have and how wise we really are. This is also known as bullshit.
This is not to say that I would be brutal. I would be brutal but I wouldn’t be violently brutal. I would not get out of my chair and punch the Fox propagandist in the face. I would never have let him across the border. I would never have granted him an interview. Why on earth do we grant interviews to the American propaganda machine? This is not a journalist, this is someone making sure that the profit making machine is well greased and that everybody is completely calm and ready to get loans that will put Ukraine in debt until the end of time, which as I say things is not very far away. You have to agree to the pollution. You have to agree to the blood. You have to agree that America is great and that you yourself are too small to live without them. Again, I am perhaps not a master of obsequious flattery, I would have told this faux journalist to get fucked.
I wonder if the president of Ukraine actually understands what Fox News is. Fox News is not a news bureau. Fox News is a part of Sinclair media insomuch as they make Christians feel very good about being Christian. When I say Christias here, you have two ways to look at it. You can say that they are wonderful god-fearing people, like my neighbors. They are really good people because they listen very closely when others tell them what to do. They make money, they go to work, they take the proper narcotics and they hate the proper people. Us versus them, we are wonderful as long as we have enough enemies to kill. As long as we can look down on our nose at others, I guess that means we are higher. It pays to be tall. I guess it also pays to have a short president of Ukraine.
I just don’t understand why we are telling America they are so great. I’m in the middle of another literary project. This project is all about America. I’m not going to tell you how it turns out because you already know how I feel. I am the most blocked man in the world even though evidence of what I have done is pretty much everywhere to be seen. I am the most known unknown person ever to have lived. I am completely stifled but yet my voice seems to be deafening. Well, it should be more deafening in reality and not just in the underworld of misinformation. I love being told I am a conspiracy theorist. I love the conspiracy that has made me into a conspiracy theorist. It’s known as the American propaganda machine.
Don’t believe me? Check out Denny. He didn’t even need to call me.
Editor’s note: if we are talking about conspiracies, it is interesting to note that my decision to write from an apartment in town caused the immediate need for a government crew of painters, complete with cranes and compressors run on gasoline to be under my window during the day every day. Equally, my decision to move next to a forest caused a change in legislation that allowed parcels of the forest to be sold. To me, they only offered a tiny slice of land. To others who are now working diligently with chainsaws defoliating the forest everyday now, it was just resource management. It seems that electing a Jew to be president of Ukraine inspired a decision for a new pogrom to get underway. Words to the wise about accepting the American Nazi party and it’s media machine into the office for a handshake and an interview to be aired during Passover week.
My qualm is about literacy and intelligence. I blame the internet. We are all staring at pictures. If Instagram were available in the time of the Bible, Moses would have been throwing telephones into the fire. Or, once the obsequious flatterers and those who talk about profits got into his ear, perhaps he would be selling them. Can you imagine a passage in the Torah where a particular cell phone brand is mentioned? Moses would say that the people had spoken and they must have their cell phones. Perhaps he would get angry and say I will give you your cell phone until it comes out your eyes. I’m only using a similar example to meat. I’m not going to do the thought to death that the actual intention of the writer was to say that the meat was not necessary for life. It was only that the coercion was obvious and that just letting people do what they want even if it means their own death is inevitable. Like I always say, the Torah is a metaphor for what not to do not a guide book for how to live one’s life.
I think that the president of Ukraine is pretty facile in the English language. He has the ability to use puns. He has the ability to speak with some eloquence about wisdom. In this incredibly horribly edited interview which only shows pure obsequiousness on the part of the Ukrainian president, he does say something about the children telling us about all the things we have done. The implication is that they are going to shake their heads and say that we are in fact or we were at that time the stupidest people in the history of history. I can think of at least one child right now who is absolutely embroiled with anger to find out that the older generation is not there to help them in any way shape or form. Good God Almighty, what was I raised to believe in? What do you mean you won’t help me? What do you mean I’m not free to be paid for?
But where is the actual work for the future and the children going to come from if not themselves? How can you raise people to believe that they will be taken care of if they just remain good children forever and ever. Do your job, kiss your asses and be subservant and everything will be fine. Forgive me if I continue to say no. I’ve only been doing this my entire adult life and apparently, I have lived past the basic age of supposed death for people in this country. I’m not going to be here very long but they ain’t got me yet except for the Russian heebiejeebies. I agree that they got me with that one. Actually, they never stop giving it to me but that’s a different story.
If I had an interview with Fox News, I will never have an interview with Fox News but if I did have an interview with Fox News, I would tell Fox News the truth. I don’t like Fox News. I don’t think Fox News should be allowed to exist. I don’t see that they are journalists in any way shape or form. Of course, we say that there is a point of view. I have a point of view. I am an ecologist. I believe that we do not destroy the land. I do not believe in poisoning the atmosphere. I also do not believe in reckless use of public funds to pay for fireworks so that we can have lots of movement of internal combustion engines driving people to and from the hospital and employing a lot of people who truly need jobs. We never get to stop paying people and people never get to stop needing money. We don’t need to continue this. Fox News lives for this. Fox News loves profit. They love profit and they love Ukrainians who agree to bow to the technical prowess and monetary power of the United States. Come on bitch, tell me you’re grateful! I would think it would be everything in my power not to punch the fucker right in the face. Like I said, I would never have even let him in the house.
I don’t want to talk too much about my life but there was a nuance or two that might shed some light on what I’m talking about. I made a joke with a guy doing a delivery today. I didn’t spend so much money but I bought some things that would be staples for probably the whole summer. Just some things I cannot do myself but that give me calories and make life worth living when it comes time to eat something. A little bit more plastic than I need but garbage bags and then they go back into the truck and back into the world. I still do not have that delivery service from town that is trustworthy. The Russians made sure that. Everybody makes sure that the profits continue to roll except for the actual people who need them.
The joke was about ordering marijuana. I said that in California marijuana is legal and if I lived there, I could do the exact same thing but get a nice delivery of a few grams of factory marijuana and there you go. I even mentioned that there were certain companies, if you didn’t live very far from the dispensary, who would send a drone over to your address and they would drop the package to you just for the fun of doing it. I mentioned the words about a drone dropping a package along with the phrase ‘just like in Ukraine’. It was one of those damn jokes that nobody really likes to hear. Here, in close proximity to the war, drones do not mean cool photography or marijuana delivery. Drones mean bombs dropping in cars. Nobody even wants to think about that here.
Most of the conversations I have with people are about war. This is what they really want to know. People here are never allowed freedom from symbolism. I will never become myself ever again in my lifetime. I’m quite sure of that. I’m sure I was before the Russians came. I had a name and a profession and people would come to me for help because I had my profession. Now I am only American. Even the Jewish part is secondary to the fact that I’m American. Because I’m American I must know something. The only question anybody wants to know is will the war come. I say it will. I say it will because it has already come here. If we have the Wagner’s disease with us, we are already at war. If I can’t get medical care or if people cannot come to me without shitting their pants in fear, of course we are at war. Everyone is afraid to talk. Everyone is afraid to be themselves. No one is allowed to live their lives because of this fucking war.
I’m sure it felt very good to get 61 billion. I’m sure my American friends are laughing at me that I receive nothing for my work. I blew it. I had it but I dropped it. Obviously, right there at the end of my writing was the time for them to get all glorious on me. Forgive me if I saw it but every single morsel of food I was shown had a hook in it, just like this interview from Fox News. No one does anything for you unless it profits them. But in their mind, I’m talking about the Americans here, gosh, they really had some meat there for a while. But then I just kept talking and talking and soon they realized that they didn’t really have anything because I was not going to kiss their ass no matter what. I was just going to stare at them and tell them that they are responsible for the California fires and the pollution and the cancer and every other misery that is in the world because they won’t get out of their cars and grow their own food in their backyards. That’s all I ever said to make myself the most blocked and dangerous person in the world. I’m the guy who said that we should be good to nature and stop worrying about the money.
The second story was from when I first came here. This is before the actual war started. This is when I was trying to deal with my first agricultural season. I didn’t really have anything to plant except some potatoes. I had a group of guys come with a horse to plow up some furrows and drop some shit on the ground. I didn’t even particularly want cow shit. I really wanted to see if I could do some organic vegan farming like I’m doing this year. But still, it was putting things in the ground.
I remember crawling on my hands and knees pulling aside some dirt and throwing a potato down into the top of the furrow. My neighbor, I won’t get into too many details here, smiled at me obsequiously and mentioned that he could be of help to me. He had a machine. It was not really a machine, it’s a tube that goes in the ground to a particular depth and drops a potato just to that wonderful sweet spot. I told him I was okay doing it by hand. I was enjoying it actually. And in fact, it’s a shame that I really didn’t have the legs to deal with the problems of raising potatoes. Potatoes are pretty attention demanding to grow. But the point was that he did not offer to come over and get on his hands and knees and bury potatoes with me. He had a machine and that was the main thing that he could offer. Other than the machine, I was on my own.
Why isn’t it enough already? These processes of waiting for money from America. How are we not sick of this already? Why are we not sick of this? If you were to interview anyone living in Ukraine and ask them if the Americans were truly their friends, my guess is they would shake their heads. It certainly seems like having technical superiority might mean something in beating back the drunken syphilitic horde. Certainly the lines are pushing in the defense of Dunbas. But other than the body count and the robberies of the washing machines and so on and the rapes of anybody who happens to be close by, does anyone really need this? Do the Russians need this? I’m sure the Ukrainians could happily do without this war. I’m sure the Ukrainians could do without the fear. The Belarusians are already diseased, upset and held completely captive even without firing a shot in the direction of the Russians. They are certainly sick of it. Well, they are sick and getting sicker everyday but you understand that there is no help coming from anyone. Not the Russians and certainly not the Americans. The Americans are only good for sanctions here. I guess we just don’t suck dick well enough to please Fox News.
I think what I’m saying is that the correct answer is to tell America to go fuck itself. Fox News is not journalism. Fox News is not news. Fox News is the Nazi propaganda machine. Fox News is the enemy. Fox News is death. Fox News is malicious mischief. Fox News is evil. Fox News is the devil. Fox News is there as a for-profit entity pretending to be a news machine but in fact only interested in profit banking through human misery. Fox News is the meat business. Fox News is cancer.
Maybe that would be the big surprise. Maybe it would be like missiles finally coming over the borders from the Americans. We just didn’t listen. We didn’t understand the military might of the USA. If we had continued to kiss their ass, maybe we would have been okay. I’m just asking, how many asses are you supposed to kiss? The Russians say we should kiss their asses. The Americans say that we should kiss their asses. Europe says that we should continue kissing ass because kissing ass was invented by the Europeans. In fact, if the Wagner group is human disease weaponized, it was the Europeans who invented this. Ask someone about Columbus outside of here and they will tell you that he’s not really very much of a hero anymore. Christopher Columbus was the original Wagner group. Ask the American Indian about white men. Seriously, ask American Indians about how happy they are to have white Europeans on their territory.
What is my suggestion? If you want to talk about the future, I like the picture of boys banging on apricot trees to get food. I like the picture of walking into a school auditorium and having everyone come to their feet. At the time, I asked people to relax a little bit. My meaning was that I was not going to be a strict pedagogue and that I would speak my golden words and they would listen. I was interested in discussion. I was a different form of education. I was interested in both sides expressing their genuine thoughts so that perhaps we could come to the most perfect solution for everybody. Now it seems that you can’t grow an apricot tree anymore. Too much pollution and not enough groundwater. And if you go to the schools, well, we are the stupidest people in the history of history for a very good reason. I am holding the ultimate device of education right now in my hand while I’m creating this text that will never be read because it’s not about pictures to stare at and symbolize. Nobody respects anything anymore and that’s the big problem.
If the problem is the monetary system, quit. If I am the president of Ukraine, everyone gets their check. Please go home and grow a garden. Help us with food distribution by growing your own food. We suggest greens and beans. You always want greens and you always need beans. We can grow grains on the fields but let’s just keep everything clean. Let’s go to the markets and come back without plastic and let’s go there on our bicycles.
Why not just give everyone their check? Why not tell everyone to go home. Why don’t we just give an alternative to economic slavery? With the resources available to us right now, even in the northern climate and even without hunting, we can get everything squared away. Even with a short growing season, a little cleverness and a little greenhouse building is all we need. And yes, we don’t even need hydroelectric. The wind blows here all the time and when it really kicks up, we get all the electricity we need and everything else is about solar panels. If you have electricity, you can read and write and learn without wasting paper. You can communicate with your friends and you can get your questions answered about how to grow really good tomatoes. We don’t really need anything else. We don’t really need big beautiful houses that cost all the money we will never have. We don’t need so much money. We don’t really need building supplies. We just need to be happy at home and to feel like we are amongst friends rather than enemies.
If there is an irony to this it is that I am American at least symbolically to everyone here. I never get to stop being an American even if I am the only one who remembers how we used to do this here 20 years ago or 30 years ago or 50 years ago when everyone agreed that the Americans were full of shit and that people could get along just fine without them.
I think I would like to talk to Mr Zelinsky one time. I suppose I could even tolerate talking to the presidents of this Belarus or of Russia. I think I might like to talk to Kamala Harris. I guess I could talk to Joe Biden but I don’t really think I would believe in it. I don’t really believe in Joe Biden like I don’t really believe in Vladimir Putin. I don’t really believe there are human beings there. But I believe there is a human being in Mr Zelinsky. I think he’s the first one to understand that he is a puppet but nevertheless, I think I would like to talk to him. I think we both believe in the same thing and I think in our hearts, we both want what is best for our countries. I say my country here even if I’m only talking about my tiny little parcel of land. I think we would both love to tell the Russians to go fuck themselves and have them understand it clearly to mean that they are not welcome anymore. Mind their own business and stop staring over the fence at all the things you can’t have.
But definitely, the next time Fox News calls, tell them you’re busy. Please sir, don’t show off your English to people who don’t actually speak to you. Please don’t show your cleverness in English to people who are only going to cut your interview so that you appear to be a dog so thrilled to be getting some factory food that you just can’t stop wagging your tail. I haven’t looked at the entire uncut interview yet but I promise you, you just got buried just like me by exactly the same people who need to make sure that the profit machine continues even if the death of humanity is absolutely imminent because of their folly.
Please stop feeding the animals. They are more problems than they are worth and they bring you down to their level by association every time. You’re better than this. Really. You don’t need this.
