So we are all here at the shabbos table and it is time for us all to make a speech. It is my deepest wish that everyone at the table can make a good speech. I don’t mean a toast. I don’t mean something you could send off on Twitter. I mean to make a really good speech that means something and that takes a moment to get from the beginning to the end. I think this is well spent time.
Last night, my ex partner and I read three short stories I wrote. They were good. That was the thing. I think reading is fun. But I guess if you are alone and you have a million things spastically running through your head as to what to do with your time, it’s hard to say that you would sit down through hundreds of sentences. It’s just not the way the world is made anymore. But last night to oldies got together and just started to read. Every other paragraph. We make mistakes. We don’t hear each other. Somebody laughs or makes a joke. We read the text. And in her voice, I can hear her interest peaked. I can hear whether my stuff is good or bad because it has relevance and makes sense. When it’s a little fat, she tends to get tired. She likes a nice lean trim story. But she appreciates subtlety. And she does get the jokes even though they are more implied than directly said.
The only argument I ever made at the synagogue was whether or not the boy spoke. I was speaking of studying between an old person and a young person. It seemed at the time that the older person was doing all of the work and enjoying all of the reading and that the child was there to do nothing more than give relevance and energy to the process of reading something for the 10,000 time. I was thinking of whether or not it is an educational situation or not. I would think if the boy spoke and asked questions or even did the reading, this would at least be participatory. After all, who’s Revelation are we looking for? The student or the teacher? I say both.
It’s hard to express what a correct medical cocktail will do for a person who suffers. Not perfect. Not even perfect. But wow. Who wrote this prescription? I wrote this prescription. That’s right. One point for Belarus.
And now I have to say something with some wisdom in it. I keep approaching the same problem from the infinite amount of angles possible to approach something from. I keep saying the same thing. I think it’s about personal responsibility. We just can’t be blind idiots screaming and scurrying through life no matter how much the state industrial complex wants us to do this. Acting this way is profitable for the people who make money from all of the garbage you buy when you are hysterically trying to make yourself right. Every single one of those bad decisions made because you had no basis of understanding how to make it.
Listen to me closely. God is nature. God is nature and our nature is our God or should be. No matter how you argue the existence of God or the existence of messengers, the result is that this entity has the ability to touch the planet unilaterally. That is the universe. That is our ecosystem. That is the sun shining down and being the correct distance for all of the things we have adapted to living in. Our habitat came first and our species evolved because it could live in that habitat. Perhaps we have learned a few things about living long lives and other such nonsense. But the truth is we are just destroying everything God has given us. All of the things that life requires is being destroyed unilaterally. Literally, the economic system that runs the world is designed to kill God. Exploitation of resources? Raping God.
How do I know? How do I know God is with me? Because sometimes there are weather anomalies and health anomalies and strange anomalies in dice rolling that tell me there is a great force in the world that is with me. And it’s always beautiful to get the call from God. No matter what they want from me, it’s always the best. Even if it’s something completely horrible for myself, eventually I know that I learned from it and became harder. It was a mistake I won’t make again. From people, I have similar things but it’s not the same. With people it’s always dirty and compromised. With people there’s always some secondary problem in their head. People are filthy. God is clean. God is pure. God is light. God is life. It means the weather is better for me when I’m good to my ecology. It exactly means that.
So here are my rules how you know whether you should do something or not. Rule number one: we care about ecology. Ecology is our ability to live healthy lives on the planet. Our bodies are built for a healthy planet. What we have made is something different and we are insane from the garbage in the air. We must stop this immediately. Rule one ecology means every choice you make during the day gets balanced out against its ecological destruction. Are you making garbage uselessly? Are you inspiring road travel from long distances? Is your wonderful purchase destructive or simple for the ecosystem we live in? Specifically balancing out going to the farmers market versus buying from the supermarket or ordering in fast food. You just have to think about this.
And about pleasure. I’m no Christian. I don’t care what sorts of words you come up with but I enjoy physical contact. Who doesn’t? But, the thing about hitting the pleasure button is that sometimes you forget what is genuine in the world because all you have are pleasure buttons. It is a wonderful feeling of freedom to have these sorts of dopamine friendly choices to make every day but again, at what cost? Is there a way to enjoy a sweet walk out in the garden to collect some berries before whipping up a little vegan cream and slathering it on toast and saying all of that was as pleasurable as it could be. Because it is possible within an agrarian format. We don’t need to be completely artificial to be beautiful.
And in the end, going through my catalog, here I am back in the beginning and I’m asking why can’t they let even one beautiful thing exist. It’s a plaintive question. Why do they destroy the beauty? In my experience, I have seen the jealousy of truly crazy women fighting for attention. But I was trying to pay attention to God. I was really tuned in to the music God had to offer and having my consciousness challenged so that I should pay attention to a woman with no particular merit whatsoever. Perhaps if she made no noise whatsoever but did all the things she did, we could say that she was industrious. But the necessity for her to scream at top volume was the most important thing. Where have I seen this before? Where does this need to monopolize the sound come from?
That’s the answer to the question. Humans are sons of bitches. It’s straight math. We have ridiculous bitches telling lies to their children so that they have power within the family. If this is all we do with our time, we are a cancerous species. And it is cancer that makes us this way. It’s all of the diseases and all with the garbage and all of the pollution and all of the bullshit factory food that makes us the way we are and we are becoming stupider and stupider and stupider everyday.
My feelings are it’s a matter of investment and currently, I am disinvested almost completely. I don’t really see myself participatory in any of the upcoming nonsense. And I’m quite satisfied to be rid of it. I’m only sorry that the world will continue the way it is. I really am sorry. I tried with all of my heart to put a stop on it. Sure, the Russian was controlled the media and of course they tortured me. And now people are too stupid to help. Well, they wanted to win. It’s unfortunate that they are to numb themselves to understand that this is exactly not the world they wanted.
