I was there. I’m sure I write about this every year. Every year I take a moment to think about it.
In the end, it’s about getting moved from your life. It’s about having to make compromises.
I was in New York serendipitously. I was into the big New Year’s. I didn’t have any particular life that said I couldn’t go and participate in the big party. And it seemed that New York liked me. I ended up with a free place to stay and a job. And from that place I was able to get another job riding bicycles. The first guy was rather irritated with me. I think that he thought that I was a natural hospitality guy and that I could devote my life to this wonderful hostel I had landed in. And maybe in a different world, I would have done that. It wasn’t like I didn’t have any experience even. But I wanted to ride. I really wanted to ride my bike.
That’s another interesting thing about taking the road less traveled. You get lost in things easily. You could say something about my mental health and you might also be right. I am a much calmer person now then I ever was during this time and my decision making, though very similar, allowed a lot more restaurant food consumption. I had no fitness plan whatsoever and therefore I just physically lived my life as best I could and let my brains wander except for keeping track of business. It’s not a bad way to live. And I got to ride my bike which was really all I wanted.
And then there was the week before. I like to remember that falafel guy who was set up at the base of the World trade center. He loved me. He really did. I was buying vegetarian burritos from him with extra sauce please and I marveled that he had the most remarkably fast hands. I don’t know why people think that Arabs and Jews can’t get along. Palestinians. Iranians. Ottomans. I don’t know what you call everyone else and I don’t know why it matters. I was trying to be a good vegetarian and this guy had an excellent burrito and he had an excellent location and was wonderful at his job.
If I was eating that burrito it was because I was needed in one of the towers. This would be Thursday before Tuesday September 11th. There was security to get in. And I have in my collection these pictures. I guess if I really went into the archive I could find it one more time and put it here.
Yeah this is my security photo and kind of a credit card that is printed on. I don’t even remember if you keep that as a one-time deal or if they give you a new ID card every time. A little ways before, someone had driven a truck filled with dynamite and parked it in one of the parking garages at the base of the building. That blast did not quite topple the building but it did inspire an unbelievable amount of security. Before that time, you would go and go up and come down and everything was fine. Now we have crazy people, even country level crazy people, and of course everything has to have massive security. Fucking oil business.
And this was the Japanese bank. Which Japanese bank I don’t remember. I just remember the secretary. Remember she was absolutely beautiful and she bowed respectfully and I vowed respectfully and she smiled at me and I took a moment to look out the windows because I was 80 something floors in the air. Magnificent view. I’ve been to the top of the Empire State building. That view from the World trade center really was something.
Well, it’s difficult to say what happened but for days later they flew an airplane into basically where I was standing. That’s no joke really. They say a lot of people were not in the building because they didn’t come to work until later. She was really nice and so was the view and so were those falafels and burritos at the bottom.
So I took the ball. I went to work and I kept riding. They said they were going to blow things up. We had no idea who was responsible or what was happening. Was this a terrorist attack? Was this war? These are the sorts of questions one asks oneself. And you know, it stinks and there’s smoke everywhere and people are covered with ash. And there’s no public transportation and people are walking across the bridges to get home. Utter lunatic chaos. But I carried packages. I carried I think most of the packages for the company. I took shit for this later on but I was there and I was ready. If I had any kind of heroic thought in my mind it was just that I wanted people to see me riding and working. No matter who they were, we were not going to quit. We will not be afraid and we will not quit. That’s kind of American thinking I guess.
Well, they didn’t blow me up. And we found out what happened and I even got this crazy ride across the water. And I got to pause and look back at lower Manhattan from a distance. I wasn’t a blogger at that time. Sometimes I was a writer but mostly I was a bike mechanic and a rider. I didn’t have a camera to shoot pictures. I had no connection to media or being a part of it. I was just living my private life watching all of this nonsense transpire.
What happened? Everything happened and nothing happened. There were no more bombs of course but the Republican government got a chance to start building up the military industrial complex in Eastern Europe. That’s what the big plan was at the time. Putin was sitting on a lot of oil and he looked like he was going to be a dependable guy. They were starving in Russia and the oil business was in for a giant ride if they can just figure out how to handle the Russians.
And of course keep the oil coming from the Middle East. The last thing anybody needed was stability abroad.
And what happened? I got sick of it. I got tired of New York. I was making money up until then but now I was kind of suffering. I didn’t manage to get together with any of the girls I thought I might have done well with. All of them had fallen aside because either I couldn’t make any money where they were or they wouldn’t come to where I was making money. Or I had a nice place that needed someone else to be a part of it or they had a nice place that needed somebody to be a part of it but we just didn’t happen to be at the same place at the same time.
It was September 11th but finally told me that I really didn’t want to be in the States anymore. I remember the moment of the epiphany. I was looking up at some skyscrapers and listening to a news report talking about Bush making a really disheartening speech in New York. And I just saw it clearly. I did not want to stay on this territory anymore because I didn’t think anything good would ever happen to me there. Ironically I was right but it’s not like I gave the United States so many chances.
And let’s be clear. I am not making a political statement or I wasn’t when I left. I just wanted a life worth living and I wanted to go somewhere where I might be appreciated. And what I found was really difficult but when it hit, it hit big. Not like going viral nationally of course. Those are astronomical numbers beyond simple people’s understanding. But locally, I was the king and I had the perseverance and effort to take the ride. They were paying me, everybody was happy and all I had to do was be there 60 or 70 hours a week.
Oh yeah, and how to hold on to your money. You have to learn that too here. We have had the entire currency crashed three times since I’ve been here. There are moments of incredible inflation and then there are moments when all the money you have in the world becomes nothing. Oh yeah, and then people just steal from you. So there’s all that. It’s okay. I figured it out and this is my place of comfort to work from now. Actually, I’ve been living the life for quite a while now.
It’s hard to talk about September 11th and say it had something to do with love. This doesn’t really have anything to do with the politics or the violence or the heroism or anything else with that rather confusing time. I just wanted to be with someone and have it be just that person. I meant a lot of people I liked but it’s hard putting the entire package together in an American economic situation. You just never really get to stand on proper ground to make good decisions. They always keep everything moving. And even when you’re kicking ass And you rule the place, they always find a way to screw things up for everybody. That’s the Christian way. That’s what the Romans taught us.
Could I have had a different New York fate? If September 11th didn’t happen, if the world had been at peace, you never know what would have happened. I didn’t network very much because I just work and do my thing. I was just doing my business and all the people I would talk to during the day were either people I worked with or people associated with my business. I didn’t have much of a private life. But I wanted one. I just never managed to put it together in that way. But I am a unique person and I am literate and pretty smart. I’m also not very good at taking care of myself and I guess I have a prediction for danger. It’s not like I never met people. And hey, some of them might not even have been gay. You never know.
And then they stole those airplanes and knock down the World trade center and everyone had to figure out how to stop and start again. That’s what happened to me. That’s what happened to everybody.
That was September 11th.
