Arthur was in a personal moment. He was having a problem understanding everything he was beginning to understand. It was like a completely alternate way of thinking well at the same time using the same language. This is where the truth could be found, he felt. In the language. The language was different for carnivores than human beings.
He also began to realize that his problems dealing with his female operating system came from a set of failsafe set in place during the carnivore era. It was not set up by carnivores of course. We were the freedom fighters. We are the children of the anarchists as they called us finally. The vegan poet warriors. Those who would not kill. It seems to very concept of security came from carnivorism. To even think of bringing up worry during any agricultural discussion would be absurd. We knew. We were pros. There was nothing more that could be known that wasn’t known and we did our job. We always do our job. But during the carnivore times, you always had to be prepared for immediate death. You had to be prepared for gun violence with available guns. The absolute maximum amount of fear had to be in place in order to control this madness of a cultural norm. The residue was in all of us. Even though we have nothing to fear and do nothing to create an environment of fear for anyone, people here still are afraid. How much of that was from the algorithm of the creators?
This was the quandary. Was it possible to declare independence? Yes, the colony was completely free to do what it wanted to do individually. Nobody was stopping anyone and demanding that they do anything. Everything is for fitness. We play. We enjoy rowdy games. And what? Is there still an existential door to be gone through?
This question was not so easy to deal with because the level of intrusiveness, the actual weight placed upon the thinking, was so minuscule You could hardly feel it. There was almost no coercion in the world. Other than feeling a sense of obligation to be at least openly friendly at the beginning of a situation, people were not bothered too much.
He also couldn’t think that he wanted this movement for expansion or growth. Of course there are always people who complain about having boundaries. This is pretty normal. But it’s not. You understand it as a concept but then when you look around it’s not here. He didn’t have any neighbors who bothered him because none of his neighbors bothered anyone. All of everyone’s neighbors minded their own business at all times. That was the secret to everything. Mind your own business and be a good businessman. Something like that.
And here he had sound the mindset of the carnivore. He found in the literature the texture of what they were looking for in life. In their dreams, in their popular dreams, they wanted something very specific and they cried for it in almost everything they did. Freedom. Freedom from oppression. Freedom from violence or coercion. And in the end date kept yearning for some superhero big enough and strong enough to lift everyone to freedom. Always the same book written again and again.
And so much anti-Semitism. He was stunned by the obvious reference to Jews and the characters They portrayed. References to black people in popular culture brought their unique twists and ironies. You can’t not see racism in the literature of a culture if it’s right in front of your face. Status. Everything was status. There were those who made the laws and those who suffered and it was always about suffering. Everybody always had to make everybody else suffer.
Maybe Samantha was doing him a favor. It’s not beautiful to look at this stuff. It doesn’t do any good for ones outlook and if indeed Arthur was a little depressed at that moment, even ridiculously depressed, arguing against a gentle hand moving him away from morose subjects can’t really be a terrible thing. At least you understand it’s constructive criticism.
Or was he on some alcoholic path? Was he delving too deeply into his self-loathing? Was he specifically trying to harm himself? This brought the question whether he was a writer or not. If he understood this issue with the language and how use of language created the dystopian hell that was the ancestry of everyone’s current way of life, shouldn’t people know about this? Shouldn’t it be in the curriculum?
And there it was again. Paranoia. Security. We need to protect ourselves. The alternative answer was what we did. We taught people to be better people and to give of themselves as much as they could. We taught people all about not spreading diseases and living healthy lives with lots of adventures. And we taught him to love outside of themselves and to understand that there is a bit of a lottery to having children and it’s something that cannot be accepted as a mistake. Having children is a very serious business and a very public affair. We want this to be gentle but this is the price we pay for our symbiosis. We only have what we have and very little room for more. And we also have neighbors doing exactly the same thing and we also have to share a little bit with them.
It was to him and intellectual breakthrough. Maybe it was not such a big deal. Maybe everyone already knows this and spoke in a guarded manner. Friendly but guarded. Business like. Humorous with an edge maybe. But they did this as an absolute because it’s how the culture taught them or they are calculating.
And here we were back in reality again. It was a Pandora’s box of course. Everything he was thinking of writing eventually was a Pandora’s box. The moment he started digging into these places he was not supposed to be digging, people were going to be uncomfortable. It was an argument whether or not it was his job to make people uncomfortable. It was an argument whether there should be an argument or not. Was he purely a propagandist or was he a journalist? And even as a story writer, how obligated was he to take from genuine cultural reality? How was he to tell the truth if he in fact didn’t know the truth himself?
It was Samantha who agreed to the conversation about this that finally led Arthur to begin writing.
Arthur, they were killers. They didn’t know they were killers. They believed that they themselves were clean of this but they were all killers. They all agreed to be killers and that was the only problem. They didn’t know what they were doing.
So inside the heart of every peaceful person is a murderer.
The eventual revolution had violence in it. There were people with guns who did not want to stop having guns and decided that it was time to use their guns to defend themselves from the people trying to take their guns away from them. So many scenes of unnecessary violence. Always a team against a single shooter. The team is already a professional. They made security based cop shows for the internet showing how the gun people were taking people’s guns away from them effortlessly. Even if it meant blowing a shooter away with robot snipers with an accuracy capacity of being almost mistakeless. Literally only removing the subject with zero collateral damage even in a crowd.
But when did The killing stop? When did we officially fire the last bullet?
That’s fuzzy. Unfortunately nobody wanted to make parades anymore and nobody wanted to write official history books anymore. Nobody wanted to start any new regimes with any new ceremonies. They called it no news. No news today. And eventually people stopped wondering about it. If there was no news about it, it must not exist.
So there is no way to know about any change in language. We only have what was before and we have what we have now. We all understand that we tried to be helpful and so we use our experience as adults to teach the children to be good adults. We teach them to be like us. But who taught us to be us? Because if the people that made us were carnivores, there would always be one tiny little shred of something in there that would bring the whole house of cards down.
I think you are ready to articulate your thought, Arthur. You understand what the problem is. Do you really want to write about meat?
That was it. That’s what it was all about. The agreement to consume flesh. The agreement to kill. Did the people still have violence in their souls? It was a question he needed to ask. It was a thought that needed to be apart of the Utopian maybe. It was certainly something that needed to be thought about in times of tragedy. If The people were going to rebuild, maybe they needed to clearly understand that all of the violence in the history of the world was a product of meat.
Something was wrong. The missile attack had been wrong. Losing joy and the children was wrong. His whole life seemed to be wrong. This whole year had been wrong.
The carnivores were running things again. And they had already been invaded. It was already happening and the communities were powerless to stop what was going to happen. And he had no proof of this and no evidence except for this nuance of his devices algorithm. She was a difficult woman to deal with. He had never noticed this before. Why do our devices have difficult women? Who put them there? Society didn’t have difficult women.
And then he saw it clearly. It was the return of the difficult women. The world was about to be under stress. They were teaching us to dominate again.
They were putting carnivorism in the algorithm.
Finding moments of peace
Arthur was on the floor in Carl’s house getting high as a kite on some new hybrid Carl had come up with. He was still amidst it as far as this carnivore question was concerned. Most of the evening so far was taken up as usual with Arthur trying to explain what he understood to be true and Carl busying himself trying to be a good host. At the moment, Carl was working on some fresh bread and listening to Arthur as kind of a radio. He was allowing the words to splash over the side of his head but he refused to buy into it.
I understand what you are saying, Arthur. It is a quandary. If you even speak about this, you are effectively bringing carnivorism into our lives. It’s a Pandora’s box and it’s driving you crazy.
That’s the thing, Carl, that’s the whole thing. It’s always been about that. I think for as long as there has been civilization, the argument about eating meat has existed. It’s just that the people who eat meat end up being a dominant species simply because that is what meat eaters are and do.
Interesting. I never thought of it exactly like that.
How do you mean?
No, you do it. I was just saying something there. I didn’t think there would be a test.
Come on. That’s not even funny.
No, I get it. The act of killing is an act of physical domination in nature. A carnivore species will dominate its prey and stifle its life. If we eat meat, even though we do not have the genuine capacity in the natural world, we take on this dominance as a way of life. Instead of peaceful cohabitation, like we have now, the world would be about dominance and submission.
Yes. That’s exactly perfect. I hate when you do that.
Stop being jealous of other people. So what are you going to do about it?
I don’t know. I have been caught up in this whole Utopian nonsense. My father decided it was time to step up production and really make a newspaper let the people could be proud of. All I wanted to do was write stories and if they got printed they got printed. I really didn’t care. I just like writing. But then the entire editorship landed on my shoulders and then joy had a live blogging. All of this celebrity shit is garbage. I’ve never been a part of anything like that.
Which is saying something for a single.
Yeah, you know everybody is going to have their daily problem. You know you’re going to connect with someone because of some personal drama. I’ve just never had to be apart of drama while there was a deadline. Deadlines suck. Production sucks. Having to do all the nuance work sucks. Writing stories with freedom. Writing newspapers is a prison.
Exactly so, my friend. Exactly so. Would you like to try a little bit more of this?
What exactly is it?
For the number one writer of an agricultural community, you are completely disinterested in horticulture.
No, Carl. I can’t do what you do. I can’t be as still as you. I can’t do garden the way you do. No competition here at all. You are a master. I was only asking out of curiosity. I wanted to hear you talk for a while.
I’m just like you. I investigated and made some additions and subtraction. This is called a quest for perfection.
I would say that it works.
Sure, it’s noticeable.
How would you describe it?
Dignity.
Interested.
Sure. Do you ever want to fuck again?
No, I sleep with women sometimes.
When was the last time you really made love?
Carl. What do you want from me?
I am a doctor, Arthur. What do you want from me?
You know who is kind of hot? Marla.
Isn’t She Ralph’s girlfriend and a little bit young for you?
She’s older than him and old enough.
She is a mother candidate. She’s in 100%. Ralph’s insanity is making her insane.
Ralph is somebody. I agree.
He’d rip you live from limb if you tried playing with his life.
That’s carnivore thinking for you.
Are you thinking of getting involved with those two? What do you want from them?
I was thinking about the hour record.
That was a great story. Everybody liked that story. Sam loves that you wrote that story. Sam is on the ego trip of all time right now because you wrote that story.
He did the work. I was just thinking that that really was an amazingly exciting thing. Maybe we could use some excitement right now. Maybe we could use some hope that we can even be better or something like that.
I am not going to sleep with you, Carl.
Do you think Ralph would do it? You already have him working on his pitching game.
He’s a great pitcher.
I agree. You think of him as a super athlete, don’t you?
Something is going on with him. He is a physical miracle, that’s for sure. He is interestingly stupid though if that’s a good way to say it. I don’t want to get to involve but I thought I might ask him if he’d be interested to try. He’s usually pretty open to athletic suggestions.
It sounds like a very good thing for the community. But you think you want to spend time with Marla, yes? You like her.
Well, she’s Jewish, Carl.
And what, Arthur?
Oh, come on. I’m not a racist.
No, I’m not a racist. You are absolutely a racist.
Look at me. How could I not be aware of race?
Whatever. You are the best of the best at making scandals Arthur. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were going complete homosexual. I’m a
I’m shocked that you would even think such a thing.
I love you like no other, my friend.
Right back at you, Arthur.
Meanwhile over at Ralph’s flat…
Marla was thinking deeply. She was considering how she would rank physically amongst women who experience great sexual pleasure. Her body was in a state of complete surrender to Ralph. She had no will of her own. He was on top of her using every muscle in his body to control the thrusts of his penis in and out of her. The size of him never got old. He was just so big. But he wasn’t just big. Every muscle in his body was ready to move. And in moments of deep love making, he was pure dominance. Marla was a possession. She was a piece of paper that could be lifted up and crumpled and thrown away effortlessly. And yet she had already orgasmed six times. They had been fucking for more than an hour.
I’m going to finish.
Maybe just a few more minutes.
If you’re feeling it, I’m feeling it too but I got to let this one go.
Maybe you can just let it…
Do you want it in your mouth or no?
There was a dramatic pause in the conversation and this was noticeable. It didn’t really stop Ralph that it did put the kaibosh on that last orgasm for Marla. She said nothing and only concentrated on what her body felt like. Ralph pulled out of her and ejaculated on her. It was a lot. It was a ridiculous amount.
Ralph felt guilty. He had began with great intentions. But the act had been this constant argument about whether he should be a father or not. He wasn’t sure. She was sure. He was not sure and declaration day was still in the future. He loved Marla. He was sure he loved her and he was absolutely sure that she loved him. She chose him. She was a part of him. There was no way that he could be him without her. But then there was what happened with Doran.
Doran was kind of a wild boy at school. He was a little younger than Ralph and just a little bit crazier than everyone else. He went away to study at a different school or something like that. But they had slept together one time and they had had sex together. Or rather Ralph had agreed to suck his penis and Doran had come in Ralph’s mouth. Ralph kind of didn’t want it in his mouth but he was sure he swallowed some. Things had been a little different ever since that happened. Everything had been just a little strange since then. Except that Ralph was still in love with Doran and had eventually fantasized about having sex with him as a way of bringing his own orgasm.
Ralph?
Yeah?
Come back to bed.
I know. I should. I’m just kind of up right now.
Come back to bed. I want to have a conversation with your penis.
Do you have something to talk about?
I don’t know. Maybe I want to say thank you. Or maybe I just want to pat him on the back for doing a good job. He’s a good sportsman.
He’s the rocket Man.
He is playful. Let me talk to him.
I have to say that there is an exclusive list of people waiting to talk to him. You’re not the only one getting burned by the fire of his celebrity.
You have been hanging around with Arthur.
I can read. I’m not illiterate.
Give me your dick.
He didn’t say anything. He stood there thinking. He was happy. He thought about slapping her face with his dick several times to show that he was angry with her. Or maybe he would just spin it around and around and make her look at it. He thought about maybe having a wank just for himself and letting her watch. And then he thought about shoving it down her throat and making her choke and this changed the mood.
What’s the problem, Marla. You tell me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
She didn’t know either. She didn’t know why but she knew. There was no possible thing that they could do together that would change the fact that he was not committed. Not to her and not to fatherhood and not to anything.
You really are something Ralph. You’re a great man.
I’m just a boy. I’m not a man yet.
No, you’re a man. You’re a big strong man. I love you with all of my heart. I love you no matter what. I’m just saying I also love your dick.
All right. If you’re going to put it that way.
It was dancing. For Marla this was certainly dancing. She was aware of that she was not really submitting to him. She could follow his body. She could allow him to take her. She could move herself perfectly but she was not really his.
For him it was just amazing how awesome his cock was. He talked to some of the other guys and he asked them how long they could go and how many times They could finish. He was something different. His cock was big. Really big. And it got hard in a second. And it could really fuck. Damn! This thing was just wanting to go. He was humbled to be the proud owner of such a dick.
Marla had him in her mouth. She was massaging his penis with the flesh of her mouth. She enjoyed this. She enjoyed this so much. Ralph was a monster and this thing was too huge for normal life. She found it the greatest comedy in the world to just melt herself around this ridiculous thing hope against hope that it might one day actually be real.
Ralph had had enough head. It was time to get bumping. He pulled her head off of his dick and pushed her and pulled her rear around and pulled her up to an appropriate height. He then used his cock to massage up against her labia to see how wet she was.
Ask Marla how wet she was. Ask Marla what it was like. In her mind, she was a controlled person. She was a person of strong moral values and beliefs and was willing to put her body into her work. But whenever she was with Ralph, she was a leaky faucet. She couldn’t control anything really. She believed she knew what she was doing but then there was his penis and it just made it rain.
Ralph was thinking musically. It was something Arthur had said. It was about rhythm. Arthur knew a lot about jazz music and a lot of things of artistic nature. He also knew something about fucking. Arthur said that sometimes you get into a nice musical rhythm and just see if you can make waves appear in the water. That was how Arthur said it. Can you find a rhythm so sweet that the waters of her ripple like tiny pebbles.
And it was music. It was dance. It was dance and dance and dance and dance and dance and dance and dance and dance and oh my God damn that thing goes so deep in their goddamn God damn God damn God damn God damn goddamn God damn God damn God damn Jesus Christ fucking ape shit motherfucker. Stop. Stop. Stop. Please. Jesus. No continue it’s okay.
They were talking about the hour record for riding a bicycle. Ralph could do an hour. He had already created one orgasm. Put it on the board! He liked bicycle riding for energy points. He liked fucking for orgasms. He liked all of these games and he was good at it. Look. Here comes orgasm number two. There she goes. Good one Marla. What was the record? That was a good question.
Marla was thinking that a meaningful life had to have moments such as this. Just to be a part of something this physically pleasurable what’s the only reason to survive as a species. Babies be damned. Forget that this is going to be some period of time and nothing else. Forget that this is not the beginning of a life with a new child or something like that. It’s not. It just feels so fucking good when he does this to me and Jesus Christ, there goes number three.
Women were funny. This is what Ralph was thinking at that moment. When he popped, it meant something. You kind of changed. You relaxed. You were like, wow, finally. But women just roll around in it. They just swim there. I
He didn’t know if they were lucky or not. On the one hand, to allow yourself so deeply into personal pleasure like that is kind of extreme. Because it’s like oblivion. They actually get to exist in Oblivion for extended periods of time. That’s crazy. A man could be aroused and feel sexy for a long time but one pop at a time and then you got to get something to eat or something. At least take a rest. He didn’t know about this swimming business. That was four by the way.
Marlo was also thinking about this. How is it possible to have so many orgasms one after another? It was like being on a boat on a river and the river was just throwing her around like a cork but it was the most pleasurable thing in the world at the same time. She was lying on her belly now with her legs crossed and he was still entering her from behind. She was tightening her legs as much as she could and he just kept sliding in and out of her. And then the whole planet moved again. Just one more disappearing earthquake that made everything else in the world kind of foolish really.
He could feel the nugget of her life. Her body was completely relaxed against him. Only his will existed and yet she wouldn’t die. He couldn’t kill her. There was a nugget of life somewhere in the middle of her. He could feel it now. He could feel it inside himself. It was a flame that would not die. Even if all of her body was nothing but a rag, that flame still burns as hard as a diamond. And he had felt that diamond before and he could feel it now. So he turned her over and pulled her legs up over his elbows and entered her and pressed his lips against hers at the same time. He enfolded her In his arms, he possessed her flesh and filled her with his cock and his heart and every muscle in his body.
For Marla, this game was over. She had completely checked out of the hotel and was now nothing more than a bowl of jelly. The next orgasm was coming along as predictably as the railroads and she could already feel the whip being drawn into position to be cracked. No problem. She imagined herself using the momentum of the orgasm to fly up into the air as far as her body could fly, up into the clouds only to disappear into the mist. Jesus Christ Almighty this boy could fuck.
And then he came to that really difficult moment. He could keep fucking if he wanted to but he was bored. So he was kind of at the crossroads. He could stick it in her ass and start in over there and see how that worked out. There is always something to be said about a job well done. But with Marla, this was always an argument. I mean, you either do or you don’t, right? This was how Ralph saw it. But it was one of those things that had a lot of drama attached to it. He knew he could have it and technically speaking she was in no position to stop him if he just wanted to take it. But he would have to ask her and then he would have to sit through the drama and that also kind of contributed to the boredom.
He decided to ask her to get on top.
Yes. Marla crawled from the primordial ooze of nothingness back into a state of full electricity in a single motion. She was like a cat. She kissed her way up his leg and stopped to drink everything that remained on his penis for herself. Then then kissed her way up his belly a brief suck on his nipple and then she put her tongue in his mouth for him to suck on.
Honestly, Ralph did not mind fucking Marla one bit. Actually, fucking Marla was the best thing in Ralph’s life and had been since he started fucking Marla. Marla was in his class. But Marla was also kind of his girlfriend. She was always with him. He didn’t even remember when Marla wasn’t with him. It was always like that. It was always Marla. And honestly, there were worse things in life than letting Marla do her thing on top of you. She had some moves.
Marla was meditating on his penis. She had established a perfect rhythm for herself and was using every muscle in her body to make the rocking motion. She was impaling herself on him as an activity. And she was bringing a new wave of orgasmic finishes with it. Like for example this one right here.
Ralph was thinking how beautiful Marla was at exactly this moment. Was a woman ever more beautiful than when you were fucking her? Look at her every time she is stressed out. Every time she’s worried that something is not going to go right. But look at her now. Look at how alive she is now. Why couldn’t she just stay like this all the time like him? Why couldn’t women ever understand how easy life is when you don’t worry so much.
She was beginning to hate herself. She never wanted this to end. She was falling into a rhythm similar to when you run for a long time. Her body was just coasting but it was coasting in exactly the right place for her pleasure. She felt her shoulders had caved in on her. How could she possibly find balance in a life like this?
Ralph decided he better stop her. She was just a person. She was just flesh and blood. People get tired. He hadn’t come but he really didn’t care. He counted somewhere in the nature of 13 to 15. Some of them were very little towards the end and there were a couple of bombs at the beginning. But he felt satisfied with that number as being adequate love for his best friend. He pulled her down on top of his chest and held her there. She allowed herself to go slack and his penis popped out of her. She held it between her thighs next to her vagina and locked her legs together as tight as she could to keep it there. It never stopped being hard.
They slept like this for a while. Ralph liked it when they slept in each other’s arms. He was the first one to wake up and he got out of bed and covered her and went to the kitchen to get something to eat.
Later that night Arthur had a friend in bed with him
One of the genuine benefits of having such a well put together community is that the sex can be mind-bendingly good. It’s a given that when a member is in pain, all of the members feel this pain and wish to do something to help. We all know this and we love it because it is the best possible social security. But in Arthur’s case, it allowed him to choose bed partners from his whim. And sometimes the women who make themselves available are so perfect for the task, it’s remarkable.
Alyssa, how do you feel right now?
I feel as if I have no tension left in my body at all. I think you’ve hit all my chakras. I think you are a God amongst men.
You’re not just saying that to build up my ego.
No, Arthur, you genuinely know how to fuck.
Do you think it has something to do with my racial background?
Does your choosing me have something to do with my racial background?
Was it a mistake to say racism was a part of this?
Is racism a part of this?
That’s what I wanted to ask you?
You asked me to come stay with you for the interview?
Um, not necessarily.
Arthur, you don’t have deep intellectual conversations with women. You can talk about work with anyone but you do not do your flights of mental gymnastics with women. Everyone knows this.
What about Joy?
Kicking and screaming, Arthur. And I don’t even want to think about Joy because it breaks my heart.
I forgot what I was talking about.
I don’t mind reading you. I really mean that. A lot of us sometimes think that you are an obligation or some weird addiction. We have to read more to find out what happened. But then when we agree that we know you, it is so funny to see how we influence you and how your moods change.
Thank you. I’m not very good at compliments but that was very complimentary.
I mean it, Arthur. We all love you. Everybody loves you.
But you don’t love me. Not personally.
Do you mean like would I move in with you and live with you everyday? Are you talking about making a partnership?
You know, I hate when women do this. I asked one question but we answered another.
I don’t understand what you want. Was I a good fuck for you?
Alyssa slow down please. I am just trying to talk with you. You don’t have to get upset.
Arthur, you need to calm down. Would you like me to suck your dick for you?
Well, of course yes but maybe kind of we could just…
You want me to go home. You’re tired already.
No. The blowjob idea was much better.
Well sure. You just need to relax and calm your mind.
Okay. Can I sit here?
This is where you’re most comfortable?
I’ve gotten used to this.
I understand. I’m not joy. But you’re a good man.
Now listen. I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to say the first thing that comes to your mind. I want you to tell the truth even if you think it’s hard or difficult. We are friends. We are obviously friends.
You want me to talk while I suck your cock?
Just answer a question simply. Can we try? Just for fun.
Okay.
Do you think you could love me?
No.
Why not?
You ask too many questions. I like to keep things simple.
Okay. Just one more question though, okay?
Of course. Say whatever you want to say.
Would you say that this is an extraordinary dick?
Empirically, I would say you are blessed.
So you would at least agree that the dick is in the argument with public service, right?
Arthur, am I doing something to displease you?
No. I understand. We are a great community and you are demonstrating empathy for a member of the community who is having a problem.
I am not the only girl who would spend the night with you, Arthur. Would you like to call someone else?
No, it’s wonderful. It’s just a tiny nuance. I just want to know. Does the fact that you get a night of my dick make this better for you or at least better than another mercy visit?
Arthur, you’re a terrible person.
Why?
You’re asking me if you have power over me. You are a specifically asking me if I am here for the dick.
Well, if it really is extraordinary. It would be nice to know.
All right, Arthur. I understand your question. Yes of course. You are a great fuck. I agree, to be a good person is excellent tonight.
Yeah, it’s not exactly the same thing I was thinking of but it’s not bad. Are you having fun?
Honestly? We can just do the dick for a while. If you need to keep talking, we can but maybe we can just concentrate on the dick for a while.
Maybe you’re right, Alyssa. Maybe you’re right.
A few days later, Arthur and Carl got into it again
Honestly, I don’t see the problem.
The desire to put one’s head in the sand is usually meaningful as a symptom.
You’re not the doctor here. What I’m trying to say is that we all know who we are and what our history is. We have defined meat properly as a natural narcotic for us that is just no darn good for us. We have come to realize that and everything we do is much friendlier and nicer. If we have people in the forest who actually do hunt and kill game, we might just be powerless to do anything but what needs to be done.
We are powerless to do anything but what needs to be done? That’s how you resolved that very reasonable speech?
I don’t know how else to say it. Doran is Doran. What we’ve done is what we’ve done and in the grand scheme of things, it is for the best of all. He was never going to enjoy life here nor would he at any other establishment. You saw that, G saw that, I saw that. We did what we did. And now we have what? You wrote something called the cannibals of the forest and you wrote it as sort of a Jack London adventure. Everyone here believed it was a farce.
Yeah, maybe everything would have been better if I had never written that story.
Going back in time is something we can’t do.
I guess we’re just going to have to lie. A lot.
That’s what it sounds like to me. Unless you want to come clean.
Do you think I could get away with it?
I don’t know. You could argue that you are an artist and therefore automatically crazy by normal standards.
And what happens after that?
We agree you are a crazy person and you lose all of your audience that trusts you as a journalist. You might still be able to write stories but if they weren’t amusing, you would have some dull thuds.
That sucks. What else do you have?
Well I have been working on this particular hybrid plant. We could find out the medicinal value of the thing if you’re open to a new experience.
I feel bad, Carl. You are always feeding me but I never get anywhere near being able to take care of you the same way.
Don’t take anything personal, Arthur. You’re the best friend I’ve got. And besides, I can’t stand your cooking. I’m a better cook, my house is a better place and I’m just happier being a host. You’re not harming anyone here.
All right. In almost all these scenarios the option to check out will be right there in front of me.
It’s possible that this is true.
If that’s what happens, you will be there for me, won’t you Carl?
Other than it’s my job? Oh no, I would never miss your check out party. I’ve been waiting so long.
Scavengers. We are not hunters, we are scavengers. The lowest of the low.
Just knock it off. I think what we have here is potentially a non scandal. Remember, they are both teenagers. Sexual dalliances are part of growing up. It’s not a big deal to anybody unless your man Ralph just can’t help himself from exploding.
Maybe I’m just like you. He’s too volatile not to follow around. He could go off the rails at any moment. He’s the greatest subject I’ve ever had in my entire life.
You guys have done wonders with the baseball. Everybody loves the baseball.
Yeah. Maybe. And what’s the worst thing that happens to us? We start building greenhouses and suddenly we get sick of being outside generally. We are right back where we were before, isolating ourselves from the universe.
Well that’s the civilization tipping point part of this. It would suck if you broke this community.
You’re not a friend, you’re a roller coaster. My god.
Well, I don’t know what else to say. Let’s try this and try not to worry about it too much.
Okay, Carl. I’m in your hands. Let’s boldly go wherever it is we are going.
And then there was Marla
A few days of diligent effort at the hour record was more frustrating than it was thrilling. Tensions were very high. Ralph was having all kinds of identity problems and social problems. And worst of all, Marla was left holding the bag. She decided that Arthur was to blame for everything and showed up one night at his apartment as he was returning home.
Marla. What can I do for you?
You feel like fucking me?
No.
Why not?
I don’t do that and we don’t do that.
But you do fuck?
Okay, technically I think you are ridiculously attractive and I am very attracted to you. However, I am declared already. I’m a single. You wish to have husband. It is equal to throwing away your life for you to be with me. I can’t let you do that. I also don’t want to be in the middle of you and Ralph because I really don’t want Ralph angry at me.
Ralph is already angry at you and angry at me and angry at everybody. He says we are using him like a piece of meat.
He’s right. I thought he liked it.
He did like it, Arthur. He liked everything that everybody gave him. That’s why I’m here Arthur. What the hell am I supposed to do?
Why exactly would I be the answer to your problem?
Maybe I’m a writer. I’m Jewish. Me and you, we have a lot in common. Maybe I take over for joy and I be a reporter for you. You can tell me anything you want to tell me. Maybe I’m a writer, Arthur.
Have you ever written anything?
Not even a list.
Well I guess that’s the best qualification I have ever heard of. But we’re not talking about sleeping together. I don’t mind being your friend but I’m not going to touch you until everything is decided. That’s just the way it is. I know I’m a rule bender or a rule breaker but I’m not going to break that rule.
But what about oral sex?
Yes. What about that? You know Marla, you might just be a writer after all. Come on in. Who’s cooking by the way?
Arthur, you never need to go in the kitchen again.
You probably mean that.
And finally there was a tender moment between Arthur and his device
Samantha, why is everything so complicated?
It’s not complicated, Arthur. You are living very well.
I’m not so sure. I feel like I’m creating messes that I can’t clean up. It’s just not our way to do this.
You are sorry for writing? People love reading you.
Maybe that’s it. Or maybe it’s just these decisions I keep making about other people. I keep thinking I’m going one way but then the world keeps pulling me another way if that makes sense.
You have a way of seeing the world. Not everybody sees what you see and not everybody thinks about it as hard as you do, Arthur. It’s the nature of the profession.
Do you think I should be more arrogant. Do you think I should just tell people the truth. I’m smarter than they are.
I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Everyone pretty much knows this is how you think.
That’s helpful. I was worried for a moment.
Maybe the problem is that you are too worried. Perhaps you should just allow things to play themselves out and see what happens.
Yes, I understand. But again and again, that is not who we are. We are the opposite of that. We don’t make scandals just to see what happens. That was the people that came before us that ruined everything everywhere. We are not capricious. We are straightforward. We are the best people. This business that I’m getting into is just not right.
You might be right. But I guess that would explain your popularity. Everyone loves your stories whether they are true or not.
What about my credibility?
Arthur, listen to yourself. You are loved. What are you worried about?
I’m worried about breaking this beautiful thing that has so much love for me.
You are starting to feel responsible for your actions.
I guess I just doubt my character.
Maybe that’s healthy. Maybe you’re just doing to yourself what you do to all of your subjects. Maybe this is just life with yourself, Arthur?
Samantha, you are the best thing humanity has ever built.
Not writing? Not the bicycle? Not agriculture or science or math? I am the most beautiful thing in the world to you?
In This moment, Sam, 100%.
I understand you, Arthur. Everybody needs attention now and again. That’s what I’m here for.
Thank you, Sam.
You are welcome, Arthur.
Clarity
By the time the sun was coming up the next morning, Arthur had heard all the details. Lurid.
Ralph had been wrestling with involving himself with alcohol. Marla did not know if he actually needed alcohol or if it wasn’t some primordial calling from his DNA. There was no reason for him to snap because nothing was particularly troubling. He just felt the urge to snap. He felt it was his duty to do something crazy.
Why was she giving up this information? He gave in to the bar. The bar had tried to throw him out. He was on declared and it was technically not his place. Was he looking for a fight? What was he looking for? Well, there was a fight but Ralph being Ralph, nobody really could get the best of him. Unfortunately he woke up intimately entwined with the most ungodly train wreck of a woman this Utopian community had ever produced. Big Billy. A hermaphroditic lesbian bully who had won the loudest voice competition for 5 years in a row. And she was huge. She was morbidly obese, violently alcoholic, a chronic drug abuser and thoroughly reprehensible human being. Literally, no one could tolerate her.
Except Ralph the Superman. And now everything was up in the air and Marla was out of her mind with embarrassment. Of all the ridiculous stories to go around, why did this have to happen to her? What level of pain did a human being have to endure?
Arthur didn’t really like being the guy to even the score against Ralph. He agreed he was a friend of the family but he was not really sure Ralph had enough common sense to speak of such things. If the big son of a bitch got territorial, things could get scrappy pretty quickly. Arthur understood that his rival had game in the bedroom but Arthur was amazingly cock sure in that department. In fact, he kind of admired the juice of all of this. For sure though it was going to be several hours of Samantha time trying to come to grips with why someone would commit suicide like this.
Editor’s note: The previous paragraph was suggested by Samantha herself.
Now there was drama. To what level of accuracy should he write about this? At what level of awareness was he obligated to blog this? How would this involvement go in terms of the future of these two children? The last thing Arthur wanted to do was to play with the future generations. That was rule number one and he had no interest in breaking it.
But then again, what laws had he not broken?
At some point it was an agreement that he was indeed corrupt. The problem was that he was aware enough and anti-corruption enough to be tortured by all of this. Maybe it’s true that we are all only actors, he thought to himself. Maybe it’s true that we only have what time we have to walk around and all we really have to do is find our place in the community. If everybody has independence and no one is subjugated by anyone else, we have Utopia. The problem was that he was privileged. He still had to go to work but technically he had the loudest voice in Utopia. He was the media.
Well, there was no other way around it. He had managed to dig himself a ridiculous hole. There were only two possible things that he could do. The first would be to contact Carl and make his case why there was no possible way to continue living this life. He was donating his time for Marla’s child whoever the father was. Which was actually pretty dramatic to even listen to. The other idea was that he had to talk to G.
Arthur insists that he was not apologizing nor committing an act of contrition. He just went to talk about business with his dad and that’s all.
Do I need to dazzle you with how much I already know about your story?
Give me a break, pop. I just have to get this straight and then maybe I could just go back to writing stories. Everyone likes my stories.
But look what you’ve done. Look at the utopians. Look how beautiful they are. Look how happy everyone was to have this newspaper. And the center with everything you could think of for the children. You have no feeling for children but there they were every time and everyone loved it. Why can’t you just agree that being a publisher is in your soul?
I just don’t want to be you, Pop.
Too much responsibility for you?
No, pop. I think I could handle whatever responsibilities you have. I just feel like I’m more of a private person. I like being nobody more than I like being somebody, if that makes sense.
It does. You don’t like the blinding light of scrutiny.
No. I don’t mind if people know my business. There’s only 10,000 of us. Of course we all know everybody’s business. It’s just that I don’t like being the only one in the room. I really liked it better when I was nobody in the room and I could just walk around and talk to people as I liked. Now it’s like I have this social obligation to stand there and let other people eat from me. It’s not enjoyable.
Well, you are the justice man. Is it fair? If you should have the right to delve deeply into secrets that some people would rather not have told, are you also available for the same scrutiny?
Or, maybe we are all supposed to have the highest level of attention possible. Maybe it should be the goal of humanity to practice being as astute as possible. Not just to do our jobs but to become more than our jobs.
You see. You are so ambitious. I give you the slightest bit of a dream and look how it grows and grows and grows.
So you’re saying it is my fate to be you.
No. You will never be me. Some people might think, when you’re gone, that you were as good as me. Maybe some will think you were better than me and others might think that you were never as good as me. That is our fate. We are public icons. We are the newspaper people. We are the journalists and the questers for the truth. We are the highest level of studenting.
Lovely speech, G. But it’s really not like that. You can do this grandeur thing. You can show up with the greatest celebrities the world has ever known. You are whoever it is that built whatever it is that you have. I’m just not awesome. I just have an active mind and I like writing the truth. All the other stuff is what you’re good at. I’m just good at the craft of writing.
Well kid, be the best writer in the world until nobody reads you. Do you want them reading your words? Then you better be in the show so they don’t forget who you are.
It has to be this way? There is no other way?
Arthur, did you ever hear the elevator joke about me?
The one where the woman offers you oral sex but then you ask her what’s in it for you? That one.
No. This was a young lady who wanted some money from me. I asked her how much money she needed to have the greatest night of her life and she told me some number. I asked her if it was possible to have the greatest night of her life without this money and she laughed at first but then when I didn’t say anything and just looked at her more, she became upset. It wasn’t any particular dream, she was just upset at being asked to use her mind. She had no idea how to make use of her mind.
So I have to do what I have to do because if I don’t, there won’t be any awareness or democracy or intelligence.
You don’t really have rival newspapers, do you?
No. I am allowed to feel my responsibility the best I can.
That’s why they love you, Arthur. You agreed to make a show with everybody and everybody loved the show. Good job, Arthur. Quit worrying about it. You have everything you need here in this community and you know it. Just do your job. What other advice could I possibly give you?
And what about Marla?
We will find out if she can write or not. Either way, she’s Jewish, kid.
She wants kids.
And you.
Yes, but…
May I give you some advice, Arthur? Just shut the fuck up. You are probably the luckiest guy in this community right now and you know it. Try not to break your face smiling too much when people are around and for God’s sakes, keep your wanklejammer in shape. The only thing you definitely don’t want from this situation is for Marla to walk away from you because there was no argument whatsoever in the intimacy department.
Shit. I never thought of that. I am responsible here.
If you weren’t yesterday, you are today, big boy.
Yes, but we didn’t…
Yada yada yada. Don’t worry about it kid. It doesn’t matter what the truth is. The gossip’s already on the street. You my son, are a news man extraordinaire. If I don’t tell you enough that I’m proud of you, believe me boy, I am proud as hell of you. You just get right back into your mess and show everybody who you are.
It’s ironic at least. You will admit that. It’s ridiculously ironic.
It’s an old writer’s joke. The pen and the penis go hand in hand. Welcome to the club, son.
And then things just happen sometimes
Arthur, I want you to listen to me.
I feel like we’ve already done this.
Arthur, I’m not an emotional woman.
She said rather emotionally.
I just want you to hear what I have to say.
Marla, whatever you want to say to me is a mistake. It’s a mistake for me and it’s a mistake for you.
How do you know? Seriously, you are always so pessimistic. How do you absolutely know what will happen?
Honestly, I don’t feel like explaining the entire situation. Why don’t you explain it to me.
All right, you are worried that Ralph is going to beat you to death if he finds out that we slept together.
We didn’t really sleep together. You just asked me to tell a story and ignore you while I was doing it. That’s all I remember about anything that night.
Very good. That’s how I wish to remember it as well. But unfortunately, we have already moved past the square where you say you do not play with other men’s property.
Listen, I know you’re just playing with me. I don’t own anybody.
No matter what, we are here now. You can see that clearly, yes?
What do you want from me, Marla?
I want to live with you.
No.
You’re not going to listen to anything I have to say.
If you truly heard that I just said no, you can talk for a while if it’ll make you happy.
Arthur, I love you.
And it’s wonderful, Marla. Amazingly, I love you too.
But you’re not in love with me?
Why are you even asking me these questions?
Arthur, this is real life here.
I know it is. That’s why I said no.
Arthur, it’s logic and you know it.
It’s abuse of self. It’s leaving a comfortable place and going to an uncomfortable place.
But what about that I’m in love with you?
You’re not in love with me. You’re in love with Ralph but Ralph is a shit. You just see me because I’m nearby and maybe the Jewish thing means something.
Maybe the Jewish thing means something.
What? I should fight the biggest gentile in our society just to get my hands on a Jewish woman?
Some would say gallant.
Marla! I’m declared. I did the deed. Snip snip. No babies. I said I wanted to be single and I live the single life. We are not fair.
So you want me to go out on the street and find the first man who doesn’t have your moral conviction?
Marla, maybe we could just sit down and talk this out like rational people. Living in the community is not a bad thing. If you’re absolutely sure you want kids, I think you got to pick someone who wants to have kids with you.
Like you.
No. Not like me. Not snip snip. No snip no snip. Do you understand? I can’t have children with you because I stopped having children by choice. I have declared myself single. Do you see how it works? It’s our right as citizens. We can do this if we believe whatever we believe and that we think it’s better to do this without children.
Except that you know the truth.
Again. What truth do I know?
That you’re in love with me and you want to be with me and you want to have children with me.
And here Arthur just stood there for a while. After maybe a minute, Marla quietly turned and went to the kitchen and started making something to eat. In Arthur’s head, he was making love to her and then watching her belly grow and then helping to deliver these children and then he is teaching them everything about the garden and how to play baseball.
