Dear sir, madam, etc…
I am a well-known linguist which means I have a hard time saying things concisely. Sometimes I take a moment to warm up. I think you should take a moment to warm up before making something like this following speech.
My fellow fill in whatever appropriate country goes here
I have to speak to you today on a matter of global and local urgency. It seems we have made a mistake. I am not only speaking of myself or my office or my people or our government or our country. I am not even speaking of our region on the planet Earth. When I say we, I mean we the collective humanity of the planet Earth.
It seems we have been tricked into believing that chasing money was somehow good. It seems there was an idea that if you gave your garbage to other people, they would eat it and then they would come near and you could use them.
I understand that there is a Jewish Ukrainian saying. Gay kakken offen yom.
די כהנ עפנ עמ
Or something like that. It means go take a shit in the sea. It means your idea is terrible. It means you’re full of shit and you need to lighten your load. My grandmother from Odessa taught me this.
Perhaps we are arguing about the same thing but from different directions. And perhaps we should stop arguing generally.
We understand that we have created an adversarial atmosphere. When I say we, I mean the government’s of the world and the people who control the media and therefore the ideas that are given to public debate. Some of us, and I am speaking of my fellow leaders, have spoken to their people in ways that they believed their people needed to be spoken to because they were taught that this is how we speak to our people. And some of our choices have been very very bad because of this mistake.
We understand that it’s going to take a moment to understand what we all should do with this. I’m talking about this message.
My fellow citizens, we can’t do this anymore. We all think that there are certain things about our current version of civilization that are very good and make a lot of people very happy. Nobody thinks we should stop having the World Cup or international sports really although maybe with less transcontinental travel for a little while until we figure things out.
But we are going to change to a more ecological based ideology. We are going to quietly but infinitely suppress the importance of money in the choices we make and we are going to allow manpower, human power, to take up the slack during what is effectively a multi-generational cleanup effort. Long-term diligence necessary for the survival of all species of life on the planet.
What we are asking you for is patience. We are asking for fairness and the suppression of all violence. The last thing we need, the last thing we need is any more violence.
So for now, only this message. And I ask you, as your leader, to consider my word seriously. We must become ecologically correct and nothing else. We understand there is an economic problem that exists today but we are going to be together, both on the government end and in the population itself as it becomes what it will be in the future. But for now, please, think ecologically and we will have many more specific messages available in the future.
Thank you for your time. May God /Nature bless us with very good luck in the coming year and the coming years God willing.
Writer’s note? When using the phrase God / nature, it’s not a bad idea to allow a tiny gap but for the inflection to be there that it is understood that these are the same things with no other word between them. It doesn’t have to be Godnature, But perhaps more like God’nature.
