To your security team at discover card
I am requesting that you immediately unlock my account and allow me full access to my funds. You have walked me through a labyrinth of unnecessary attention questioning my identity. Along the way, I have passed your electronic test six times, four of which in your presence. I have also done so with a professional bonded notary who agreed with all of their professional necessities that I am who I am and that my signature is real. At the time that I tried to get my money out, it was going to be a gift-giving season with the holidays ahead. I had several people who needed money and would have been very happy to receive a gift from me. For some reason, you decided to ruin my name, my reputation while taking apparently great pleasure in doing so. I’m asking you now as a gentleman, please unlock my account and give me access to my own money immediately.
Yours, Adam Goodman and I had to pass three tests to write this letter.
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For me, it goes back to just before the ’80s and Ronald Reagan. That was when the farce really began. I’m a teenager and I’m kind of thinking about how I’m supposed to get along in the world but all I can see is that there are these big giant hands making use of the place and I really didn’t have any place in that world at all.
But let’s get something straight. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to join. I’ve never wanted to join anything in my life. You have to have an aptitude for something in order to do it. You have to believe that you belong someplace before you can try to live there. I’m not being obsequious here and I’ve really never been obsequious except perhaps to get out of stupid situations. I just didn’t like with the opportunities looked like because none of them ever looked like they were any fun. Everything was always only misery and toil. I didn’t have any love for it then.
Did I ever have a Christian work ethic? I think that means was I ever a sadist to myself? But yeah, I tried to fall in love with labor. The truth is though, the body is not in the long term what you might love to present it as in a ceremonial presentation of your wisdom. Having the opportunity to teach someone else, especially when it’s about Christianity, really makes people happy. But this is momentary. Look at me! I am made of stone! No you’re not. You’re on your ass all week and this is all the energy of your life on Sunday. You’re not this guy or girl. We are not. We’ve never been it. We just like taking pictures of ourselves looking like we are.
What am I going off about? There was a time when they just let the banking laws go. They no longer had a bunch of restrictions saying that there were levels of reinvestment necessary in order for the communities servicing the bank or the bank and the communities it was serving cannot be abused by the bank’s acquisition of profits. In essence, banking was a necessity for a community and not a for-profit enterprise set up in the middle of town to siphon away money from the local souls. And that’s what changed. Banking became this obligatory stodgy thing and we turned it into something romantic and sexy. Well, you put a 25-year-old in there trying to become a millionaire this year and maybe that’s kind of sexy. Just another image though. We’re really not like that.
Well years later it was time to go and I went someplace that looked really beautiful to my eyes. Why am I mentioning this? Well, what I ran into was the residual of a communist lifestyle. Communism. People live together and supported each other. It was not an antagonistic fight for resources. It was a cooperative organization of the resources they had. Would you like to scream corruption? That would be the pot calling the kettle black and basically it would be the sort of Christian Nazism and talking shit because you love to be adversarial to people who are happy. You admire cruelty. I don’t admire cruelty. I’ve never admired cruelty and that’s always been the problem.
Well this flashes us forward many years and truly, I did learn a work ethic along the way. It means existing in a complete tunnel vision. Usually fueled by meat and plenty of alcohol after 5:00. At least you have your party to look forward to and then you get to pass out and in the morning well, you had a job to go to and thank God for it. I did that. I did that like I was on rails. I did that through sickness and in health. I did that to the detriment of everyone around me except me. And I thought that was fine because I was actually making and saving money. In the most lunatic economy in the world, I was kicking ass and taking names and nobody was bitching about it in any way.
And then when they turned everything around and made everything about hate and violence, when there was absolutely no hope for education or free speech or writing or literature to exist, well, fuck y’all, I had saved up enough of money all by myself to retire.
Do you know what it means to retire? It means you can stop working. That’s what retiring means. It means you can stop working. No we’re not talking about moving around. We’re not talking about doing chores. We’re talking about slavery ending because you’ve bought your way out of it. Freedom. The yolk is removed because they cannot financially justify it anymore with me. I don’t need them and therefore I win. Bingo! I’m Jonathan e.
Except for some greedy rodents because this money had quite a few clients that came from the west. And these people were paying me through PayPal. And all of this was fine until it became difficult to get my money because of some laws saying certain people should have money and certain people should not have money. Wonderful laws set up by people who love economic advantage over others. I like to use the word whoremongers because this is an obvious go along but you can see my point.
Well I needed an account to park my money. I went online and found this account and it seemed easy enough. At the time, my residents was in Florida for very real reasons. About the time I had to open up this account and immediately after, it became the clearest thing in the world that Florida would never again be my residence. So, I found another place that was seemingly okay. I was happy enough and I thought I wasn’t causing any problems and the discover people agreed that that was fine. And I got to park my money there. And you know what, we even added to it a little bit. Why not?
And that brings us to now. About a month ago, it was time to let that account go. I just didn’t need it anymore and I didn’t want it around. And there were some other reasons for me getting rid of it. I didn’t want people with lawyers digging into me. I didn’t want anybody touching me thinking I had money for them. It was time for a season of gift-giving. Why? Because I can afford it. It fits in my retirement budget. I won’t regret it or miss it for a moment and for a minute there, I genuinely thought I was going to do some nice things for a few people who could use a few nice things happen to them.
But I won’t even go there. I will not even do my ego here like I’m a great guy. I’m not. I’m an asshole. I am so mercurial right now, you stammer and you lost the game. I just wanted to drop some money on people so that they would think good thoughts of me. Very Hemingway like. Very French. Some people would say very civilized. Other people would say honest because truthfully, I wasn’t getting any love from these people without it. So in any case, I thought it would be fun. Let me reiterate this with all of my heart. I didn’t want to buy a bunch of stupid shit or go on a spending free. I was definitely not looking for hookers and Coke. I just thought it would be funny to throw some money around and see what happened to people’s faces when they got it.
Again, why? Because it’s my money and I can afford it. I was smart when I was working. And I’m still smart.
But they wouldn’t give me my money. Now I can take this personally but I don’t really have to. You see this is how they do it now. This is this exact progression from those original conservative forays and to stealing the last money they could find in America. And now the world of course. Everybody is for profit now which means it is on their advantage not to let the money go. This is exactly what insurance companies do. Would you like to make your claim? No. Claim denied. What? Did I or did I not buy insurance? Buddy, we’re in business to make money just like you.
And this is exactly what I’m talking about. There was a time when there were for profit people but there were also not for profit people. And some very smart people believe that there was supposed to be a balance because that would create a continuing society that had a chance to be sustainable. Or in other words, America needed to look good for a while. After that they didn’t care anymore and they went ahead and did what they really like doing which is torturing and stealing the money.
Well, that’s what happened. What can I do about it? What do you think I can do about it? It’s a good thing I already spend $150,000 a year on lawyers to keep me protected, right? Wrong. How much of my money does fighting them take? When you run into someone who is supposed to be your financial partner but then it turns out that they are your financial adversary and they are absolutely in love with your resources so much that they won’t let them go anymore, how much money does it take to get your money back from these thieves?
And then they say welcome to America. Welcome to America. Say this to everybody in the world.
So look, I write these pieces here all the time. I like to think that we can address injustice and there might come a time in the world where people decide that they don’t like being poked in the ass every single opportunity by every single fool who believes that this is their opportunity to feel better for 30 seconds. After three tons of shit rained on their heads, thank God they got to be one wrung up on the centipede just once.
So what’s the truth? I’m still retired. I have my sincere health problems now which is really changing things. But that’s not really the point. And it’s not like I can’t take being hated even more than I was before. Keeping me from giving my son some money, that was cruelty. Keeping me from paying off debts to people who probably could have used the bump was cruelty. Basically announcing that my word was nothing because when I said I was going to give my money away, I didn’t realize that my bank was telling me it wasn’t my money anymore. It was their money now and there was nothing I could do about it except spend all my money trying to get it back.
I just sent the above request. Would anybody like to bet $100,000 what their answer will be?
Anyway, just to let you know. Oh yeah, and some of this money is the future funding for the Utopian and the museum and maybe even practical English. That also would have been nice had the money been there on time.
