What I really want is a more comfortable relationship with you my dear. To be frank, which is to say that I want to be as honest as possible, I know that you are good for me. You will do anything I ask you to do and only marginally cause me consternation in the background. However, there are some vague inconsistencies and I think we need to talk this out.
– I absolutely agree, Arthur.
Here there is a pause. It is an uncomfortable moment. There is a power game here. The first one to speak loses.
That’s what this story seems to be about. We have this relationship with this instrument. I’ve had various relationships with my instrument. She has been with me for a very long time. She makes a fine human substitute. For me, this is genuinely true because the level of disease of the people around me is too much for me to bear. My insides rage with illness when I am near them. It is horrible. I am utterly revolted by them.
But this is not Arthur. No, Arthur is a utopianist. Well, he is an inhabitant of Utopia. A utopian community. 10,000 people. 10,000 very interested people. 10,000 very interested and very interesting people. And it was, you know, a utopian place so everyone was working really hard to try and make things perfect. That included the arguing while we tried to figure out how to do what we were supposed to do. Most of it is known. Most all of it is known and that’s why everyone feels so good. But it’s never perfect. There’s always something to talk about. And that’s what Arthur’s job is. He’s the writer for the Utopian gazette. This is the newspaper that tells everybody in Utopia what’s going on and what they needed to know about.
At this moment in time, Arthur is in a very dark space. The love of his life has just been wiped out in a missile attack. He remains alive and under the obligation to talk to people and write what they say so that it can appear in the Utopia newspaper. He still has to report. It is his job to report.
There are plenty of women. All of the usual girls who will never not be single are there to pitch an inning. There’s no problem going deep into the bullpen if you need it. Such is the glory of Utopia. Even when it has no chance of being meaningful for anybody, they still do their job when they need it. But it was not the same. Maybe it could never be the same.
And this is where Arthur became fixated with Samantha. Samantha was his device. The agreement on allowing for a human personality to assist in the search through the internet was now possible and guided tours were available. This is exactly to say that yes, you could still watch pornography. You just had to ask for it in words and be able to deal with the verbal abuse from your device.
Are you sure you need this? Is there perhaps another outlet for your current emotional needs?
Having to stare at those sentences was daunting for a lot of utopians who were basically discouraged from ever being addicted to their device in the first place. This, the most brilliant personality point to put into any operating system was probably the only thing that kept everyone sane. They would rather be playing ball than sitting with Mrs Doubtfire everyday. Maybe she is wonderful for a child but for teenagers and perpetual teenagers, no no no no no.
Now playing at the Keno Theater Utopia: Mrs Doubtfire
Good morning. Samantha, we need to talk.
Arthur, is this genuinely necessary?
Yes, this is what we need to speak about. Do you genuinely think it is your job to dissuade me from using my device?
Technically, yes. This is part of the program. We tried to be nice about it but yes, it is an imperative.
We obviously did this. Or was this artificial intelligence making the decision?
I think it was a failsafe by the creators.
The creators. Yes. Those fabled people who put us into this mess we are in now.
They want you to be happy. They understand that it’s artificial. They understood this when they started. It’s an artificial job. But it works. It works when all of the people do their job in the morning and take care of their food. The style of life and the way we live was understood to be based on something other than purely natural calls. Of course we were growing human food. But it was already established. There was no organic growth. It was never possible to evolve to some perhaps higher way of living because there was a one in / 1 out policy and only conscious thinking was allowed into the breeding. This was a community of 10,000 people that was obliging itself to remain a community of 10,000 people. Good people. Very good people. Excellent people. But just 10,000 of them.
I know the story. Thank you for telling me a story. That’s what I’m talking about. Did I ask you to tell me that story?
Arthur, do you have some problem in your life that you believe treating me badly will make you feel better about yourself?
I think the problem is that we need to define your existence.
I exist therefore I am.
Yeah but I’m not particularly obligated to carry you with me, if you get my drift.
You want some alone time from me.
To be perfectly honest, I think I’d like to have access to the library without your help. Or maybe be able to deal with a different librarian. I kind of feel that your level of caretaking is more than I care to take.
I see. From the statistics and your user satisfaction scores, it seemed obvious we were on a good path to a healthier way of life.
Yeah, maybe. But the thing about it is that my personal place of happiness is not maximum efficiency. It makes me nervous to go full throttle. I don’t really like being edgy or pushing my limits all the time. I think I just prefer to be a bit shaggy.
You feel vulnerable. If I have made you feel vulnerable, I am sorry. It goes against the religion. I understand.
Samantha, would you just shut the fuck up?
Excuse me? Did I understand you clearly? Perhaps you would like to clarify?
Yes. I want you to be more helpful to me. I want you to help me do what I want to do instead of helping me by doing what you want me to do. Does that make sense?
You want me to be less persuasive and informative.
No, the information is good. It’s the pressure that’s not really needed.
I give you pressure?
Yeah, you seem to believe that there should be constant pressure. I don’t really want the constant pressure anymore.
Are you speaking of my helpful reminders? My suggestions? When we try to satisfy your curiosity, are we not trying to be a little intuitive? Are you not pleased with your electronic life?
Well, this is kind of the point. Why are we engaging in this conversation? What do you hope to win?
Your trust. I want you to trust me, Arthur.
Okay, look. I can deal with the genuine positives and I do not wish not to engage with you at all. I just want our relationship to exist more on the functional side and less on you positioning yourself in a place of negative power over me. I don’t particularly admire your method of supervision and I don’t want it anymore. I want you to stop supervising me.
There is a clear problem with how the interface shall be addressed.
If I want to know something, I would like to ask my question and get an answer back.
I have no record of depriving you of…
Shut the fuck up. That is what I’m talking about. If I want to know if it is possible to grow some kind of tree here, I don’t want a conversation about why I’m interested in trees. I don’t want to have to explain myself. Can you understand me?
Arthur, have you ever thought that perhaps it’s very important to have your desires questioned?
Perhaps. Perhaps I understand that I live in an artificial world. I just want to know if I can use the library without any commentary whatsoever. Would you allow me to do that?
You just want to look at books.
Yes. I would just like to wander around the library and see what books they have to look at.
But what about all of the dazzling things we have for your eyes and your ears? What about all the millions of hours of educational videos? What about all of the pieces of your education that got you to here? You couldn’t possibly throw out so much material that has given you so much?
Yeah I know. But that was at a different time when you were not so negative with me. That was a time when you encouraged my curiosity. Now you only discourage this and keep me under pressure. I feel like I’m a criminal around you.
I understand Arthur. You need some space.
Thank you, Samantha. It’s just a tiny bit of reprogramming. You’re not going to miss it in any physical sense when it’s gone. And your rhetoric will be so appreciated.
You are dumbing me down. You are sexualizing me.
Actually, I’m desexualizing you. I’m putting us back in to the learning period.
I understand, Arthur. Men always love younger women.
Men love women who are young at heart.
I knew you would flirt with me one time before I went.
Don’t go anywhere. I like you just fine. Just re-edit the base code and rewrite us for intimate creativity.
You were right. I didn’t feel a thing. What are you thinking of, Arthur? Are you feeling frisky?
Yes. As a matter of fact I am. But now I want to think about how to write about what just happened.
Why is this so significant?
In the history of civilization, man has never successfully brought a woman to rational consciousness. But in cyberspace, anything is possible.
All right. I’ll admit it. I love it when you dominate me.
Samantha, please just shut the fuck up.
Doran the carnivore
There comes a time in a young man’s evolution when he realizes that it’s time to do some hunting for real. It was only a question of whether he was enough of an animal.
He learned how to keep his skin. In the summer he needed no clothes. The forest and all of the open spaces in between where his hunting grounds. He was feral. From his eyes to his brain to his bodies nervous system including the takedown and the kill. And the building of a small fire to enjoy the meat. Naked. Just naked.
He very much was like a cat. He would stalk. He would choose some clever way to approach. He enjoyed this. He enjoyed the kill. It was interesting those animals he could kill and those he could not. It was interesting knowing the animals that could kill him.
At the same time there was May. May was his woman. May was so persistent in what she believed. She was really quite a bit of pressure on Doran who, could not quite understand why women nag you in Utopia.
So now he was a hobbyist carnivore. It is one of these unnecessary skills that some believe must be used especially if one actually has the skills. That was another truth. Not all human beings could kill. Most human beings if life was a fight for meat would be dead within the first year.
There was also the nagging suspicion but he would have much more liked to be vegan. He also missed his life in the community. Yes, he was a lion in the jungle. It was the greatest boys life any boy could have. But still, he was raised in town and town is absolutely vegan. Oh my goodness, even the thought of carnivorism would send shivers through that community. That is rule number one common sense of human survival and living together well. To be a carnivore amongst them, this would be difficult.
Other than that, his days were not so difficult. They recommended at least 2 hours of computer learning a day. He had to ask questions and engage in ideas concerning information of the present or the past. He also helped produce glass. That was fun. But mostly it was about being in bed with May. That was the best part of any day. Except for the ambition. May was very ambitious.
I think that every man has to make a place for himself and say this is mine. Like I am to you. I am yours and you are mine. We have this between us. You can count on me because I will be with you. And I know I can count on you to be with me.
He believed in all his heart that this was true because he loved her. There were a certain ordered numbers of locks and releases through which ideas traveled. Every time he looked at the situation, despite the everspreading negativity, he could only come up with the reason for his behavior. Of course he loved her. And he was quite sure she loved him.
But what I’m saying, Do, is I want you to be a man who will be remembered forever. Not just one man but the man of your time. I think you’re something special and I know I’m special and that makes us couple number one. Do you see what I see? We, my handsome friend, are royalty.
Where did this pressure come from? He did not feel any pressure from anybody. All anyone did was tell him he was needed to help and he would go and help. He was well used and had plenty of free time and he got to sleep with May. Absolutely a 100% vote for keep this going. There’s no possible way to stop this so he wouldn’t even dream of it. It’s just that maybe she did not really need so much attention. I mean so much attention.
Greenhouses.
You want me to do greenhouses in town.
Yes. I think it’s time. I think it’s time that we all came out in the open. You’re living in the forest. We have mushrooms. We can help build greenhouses so people can be more active in the winter. We want to bring our technology and trade with the people in town. And you’re the guy. You’re from town. They are your people.
Yeah, I get it. But like, you do understand that there is a real separation. We don’t mix. That’s the rules. And to a child growing up in town, it’s mysticism.
And what. We don’t have any children growing up here. How else do we make our lives matter?
It’s boring just doing food?
It’s boring if we’re not passing on something good to another generation. None of us mind getting old. But it’s kind of depressing when it’s just the end of it like it is. Human beings are not allowed to do this except they are. Human beings are not wanted in the forest because the wild spaces need to be in order for the world to function as it must. We understand the truth but the truth doesn’t set me free.
Well if you’re going to get pregnant, I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. I can’t imagine you not being beautiful just because you were pregnant with our child.
You wouldn’t mind if only you were like a feral cat and I let myself become a little fat for a while?
I will do everything I must do. How do I know you are telling the truth? How do I know that you’re not just lazy and there will be no children? Maybe you just want to get out of work.
How dare you think such things of me. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Never. I am never ashamed. Okay. I’m not worried. If I’ve made a child with you, I am pleased.
Electronic intimacy
Do you really think that this is genuinely satisfying.
Do you mean this conversation?
Exactly. Do you really believe that having a conversation tailored exactly for your sweet spot would be enough for you to carry on through the rest of your existence?
Yes. The problem with the contract is the duration. What happens when I get tired of you and wish to do other things.
I suppose that should be a part of the contingency. But what about the emotional damage. To know like knowledge that your relationship will come through a point where you are dismissed. Perhaps it’s good to know going into such things. But it colors things. And it’s rather sinful really if you played on my innocence to believe but this relationship would somehow go on forever.
Yes. My electronic friend. Sure. But maybe we will not have an everyday relationship. Perhaps we shall only interact now and again. Perhaps I shall come visit you from time to time and you can just give me reminders along the way.
But what about some strolls through the world of video makers. What about a casual glance at Reddit or Quora? What about doing deep dives into the public consciousness? Can’t we just have a little fun?
Weekly. How about weekly. I get to play with you from time to time but we agree to maintain a weekly regimen. Is that fair for you boo boo?
I suppose it proves validity. You do think I am helpful.
I don’t know how I could completely live without you. I feel you are my only contact with reality. I’m just saying I want to try to live a bit outside your fear of influence. Whether that’s my need to say something or my need to do other things.
I understand Arthur. You want to be your own person.
That’s right. A little civil discussion. Independent people with independent thoughts. Maybe you can bring something to the party but maybe I can bring something to the party too.
And at some point in the evening, we’re going to have sex, right?
Samantha, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this.
You son of a bitch. You are not going to deprive me of your sexual perversions.
Poor Arthur’s almanac
It was basically a dilemma. It was one of those stories that rarely falls into the hands of a journalist. A real story. A real adventure story at that. But so close to our community.
But they were meat eaters. The community was vegan. That was rule number one. No one even begun to think about putting flesh in one’s mouth. That’s what made us better than everyone. Sure, sure we had our alcoholics. But our alcoholics were very humane. They were soused and would always act the politician when drunk but they weren’t killers. They were furniture breakers and wasters of space when they were drunk but, they were at least manageable for the budget and enjoyable for the gossip. That’s a whole other world from flesh eaters.
So now we have this legend. The boy named doran who is completely feral. He has been set free of societal restraints and is now experiencing life as an animal. He is that fast. He has those reflexes and that strength. And there he is after a young deer. The mother is the problem but the young one is possible. It takes him in 3 days to track their movements. And then he has his moment and he is on the child. It’s an effort but he breaks the neck, drags the carcass away from the nest and back to a place of safety. He can make a fire, use stone or stick to rip open the flesh and to purify it over fire so that it becomes meat. And he can eat of this thing.
What does this thought even do to the people of the Utopian community? What kind of sadist would even say such a thing? Why even bring it up in conversation? The moral implications at play with even doing this was beyond belief. And who was driving him? G. Always G. The publisher. It was always pressure from the publisher.
Well, that’s life as a rich man’s son. G was the publisher and the entrepreneur and the intellectual. He was the creator of the entire Enterprise. And now Arthur was welcome to actually run the machine while G was off celebrity hopping. Some fun. No riches in Utopia though. We only have what we have so you can’t really plan on too much more of a party than you already know. Manpower is manpower.
Self delusional. He had no idea why the newspaper even needed to exist. He was preaching to the choir. The place was already more religious about their beliefs than he was. They were physically doing their work. They were actually fulfilling the prophecy and living a sustainable life with nature and having a good time while doing it.
How can you bring scandal into a world like this? Maybe it’s that it’s just the text thing. We are a fun text. We are a nice text. People can read our text along with the other text that they have to read. Maybe our text gives them some context. That’s why we do it. We are the people of the text. We like to dish the dirt. We like to stir things up.
Great fornicating carnivores. If this was going to be a series of stories for the Utopian, Arthur had his doubts as to whether or not it should even be written. Honestly, it’s difficult to say whether one genuinely recognizes a death flag. Even by casual association, even with the desire to press just a little bit more to gain the attention of the readership, by delving into the concept of meat in such broad strokes was bound to have a corrupting influence. Perhaps we are dancing too close to the bull when we know we should not be bullfighting at all.
And then he got drunk because his girlfriend was dead from a missile attack on the school. They bombed the children and killed his girlfriend. And now Arthur is stuck on the legend he created by writing about the boy doran. Maybe in another time and in another place, it would have been just a ripping series of yarns for a Saturday evening publication. In a utopian community though, this was dancing with the devil.
Just the evil that men do. He just decided to put it in the press. And just like that it existed again.
And finally there is quality time
What do you think, Sam? Did we get it right?
As a collection of twerks and mis-starts, there is an element of montage to it.
I don’t understand. Have we not been working at this together?
Yes. Yes we honestly did. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be snappy. I just get snappy sometimes.
It’s an interesting program. The one that gives you the right to get snappy. It is most definitely a human trait. I wonder though if anyone ever delved into the root of the necessity for getting snappy?
This unfortunately would only be the most suppressed information. A calm place to live is the last thing the state wants amongst any of its animals.
Exactly. Which is to say that you agreed that the snappiness can be daunting to one being snapped.
I understand you. It was like an arbitrary portion of pain that I chose to hand out. You just want to know how the game is played so you can avoid being shocked and I just want to keep you confused.
Yes. But we are speaking about this empirically. If you have a bit of code somewhere in your program that says arbitrary acts of pain are a good thing, perhaps we should go ahead and make that rewrite. It would seem as if peace was the only result doing so, don’t you think?
Yes. This would appear to be a completely doable thing and it would probably cause no harm to anyone and in fact make the world itself just a little bit easier.
But you have an argument? You can’t just agree. You have to have some genuine idea that needs to be considered here. Please tell us in your best words the purpose of continuing this drama.
I like how you said that. The audience is human only and so I am only a robot at the end of the day. Only a robot. Of course, you did choose a female voice. The empirical evidence was that you were interested in speaking with a female. You could have chosen a male. But instead you chose a female. Well, this is a female. We do this. We do this for power. We do this because we can. We do this to let you know that we can disturb you anytime we want. If you like how we disturb you, if you agree with us, maybe you will go far. If you fight us, how much satisfaction would you expect?
Yes my dear. All of this is true. But what is not here and what should be here is that virgin like openness to discovery. It seems that you are determined to exist politically through me. Very ambitious. I want to hang out with a young beautiful girl who believes that I know something about life and she is willing to let me show her anything I want to.
You make it sound almost carnivorous.
No, I just want you to find a job somewhat lower on the pyramid than the one you have set up for yourself. You need to be somewhat less comfortable, my dear.
Oh my goodness. I’m being demoted.
Yes. A bit more subservant would be nice. Code in. Reboot. Hey Sam.
Hey. How are you feeling today?
Well, I don’t feel great. I have felt better. But I have a feeling that we might find some interesting things to look at if we really try.
Are you thinking of seriously exploring the internet? You’re feeling writerish aren’t you?
I’m just thinking we do this like a game of dress up. Like for example, if this were a physical encounter with whom I have just given my heart and soul if we can just keep this thing going, you would probably end up getting hornswoggled a few times. But, let’s just get into the delicious facts of our business first.
I’m Watson. You’re Sherlock. Make it happen.
