From Chabad.org:
Behaalotecha in a Nutshell
Numbers 8:1–12:16: The name of the Parshah, “Behaalotecha,” means “When you raise”.
Aaron is commanded to raise light in the lamps of the menorah and the tribe of Levi is initiated into the service in the Sanctuary. A “Second Passover” is instituted in response to the petition “Why should we be deprived?” by a group of Jews who were unable to bring the Passover offering in its appointed time because they were ritually impure. G‑d instructs Moses on the procedures for Israel’s journeys and encampments in the desert, and the people journey in formation from Mount Sinai, where they had been camped for nearly a year.
The people are dissatisfied with their “bread from heaven” (the manna), and demand that Moses supply them with meat. Moses appoints 70 elders, to whom he imparts of his spirit, to assist him in the burden of governing the people. Miriam speaks negatively of Moses, and is punished with leprosy; Moses prays for her healing, and the entire community waits seven days for her recovery.
From the Bazaar under Sinai
Moses the Egyptian is gone. He has gone up the mountain after a week’s purification. The book however continues in his absence except Aaron is now reporting from Moses who is theoretically reporting from God. The frustration amongst the Israelites is reaching a boiling point. The lack of trust in the leadership is becoming apparent. Once again, Hillel the scribe is on the carpet with his friend Phaedrus the apothecary.
1
Really Phaedrus, I just can’t take it anymore.
I don’t know why you are so worried about it. You are paid to write things down. Everyone else has to work very hard to get by and you sit in a comfortable room and all you have to do is write legible letters. I don’t think you have any reason to complain at all.
But you were right. These are not my words. I am not really a writer. I am only a scribe. A scribe is nothing. We do nothing, we say nothing and we only work when others tell us what to do. I am more of a dog than a man.
I can see that you don’t have the lot backing you up these days. How bad is it?
I just don’t like it when Aaron is by himself. When the Egyptian is with us, at least Aaron has a place to look for assurance that he’s doing the right thing. He eats so much meat I’m surprised his heart beats it all. All of the people in the temple are complete meatheads now. They can’t stop turning their head left and right to anyone who’s talking to them. This is the entire problem with the flesh game. It’s like a drug addiction. It’s just brutal.
We are enlightened. I am enlightened and my friends are enlightened. We agree with you. Meat is better not eaten.
We don’t need it. We just don’t need it to be healthy and happy. And really, since I quit killing animals, I feel so much lighter and so much better. Everything but what I have to see from the management.
Yes, sometimes clarity can be a problem. You can’t unsee something once you see it. And I agree with you, you have a terrible seat because it’s you understand how deep the hypocrisy really is.
They are so crazy with cleanliness. All they want to do is be clean again but everything and everyone is so filthy. Why don’t they understand that it’s the meat?!? Why can’t they understand that it’s the meat business that leads to all of our social problems? Why can’t they ever get over this addiction to meat?
Because meat is money, my friend. And at the end of the day, no matter what he says, the Egyptian is only about money and power. He will never leave us and he will never leave us alone.
That’s why I’ve come here. Show me what’s available please. I think I need a double dose.
2
Yeah, everything is about the Levites now. The whole group of them has been put into service in the tent. I tell you, Phaedrus, I don’t like this specialization business. I think it definitely breaks into our sense of independence when we are forced to do only one job instead of solving all the problems of living. It’s unnatural.
This is why they took us out of Egypt. So we could become more Egyptian than the Egyptians themselves.
Why can’t we ever learn anything?
Meat.
Yeah, meat. They had the Levites lift up their tunics. What is this obsession with our sex organs? A week doesn’t go by when some rich guy demands to see if I’m really Jewish. How can I get out of this? What is their fixation?
Do you ever notice a correlation between homosexuality and bureaucracy? Maybe it has something to do with this specialization. Maybe it has something to do with people who don’t have physical jobs except to tell other people what to do.
So you’re saying it is all the meat business. I guess I agree with you. They never get out of the Egyptian’s face. I keep believing in my heart that he has our best interests at heart. I keep believing that something good is going to happen. But every time Moses comes up with a good idea, the meat lobby just jumps on him and steals any energy he ever comes up with. I tell you, this is why he’s up on the mountain now. He’s fed up with it. He doesn’t want to live here. It’s dirty here. That’s the whole point. We are all sick. We are all infected. What a way to live.
Did they really make them lift up their tunics? That’s quite a picture. Anything interesting?
Would you shut up? Do you have the fantasy that you would like to talk about?
I was more interested in knowing if you felt anything.
Please shut up. I have enough problems in life without you making more for me.
3
So then they got into story time. I can’t believe that they can’t see it. They had to come up with a second Passover just for those who were not clean enough for the first Passover. I don’t understand this. Why is it that we keep giving these bureaucrats everything they want? Why can’t we just refuse them and make them live in the marketplace like everyone else?
Oh no, I am quite happy with the way things are. The last thing I need is have the marketplace filled up with all the meat sellers. Things are just fine the way they are.
I tell you, this is why Moses went up on the mountain. He’s sick of it. He’s hot enough. It’s too much noise and too much illness.
I find I need harlots less when I don’t eat meat.
I know. Me too. I don’t make crazy decisions. I don’t want anyone telling me to lift my tunic. What’s under my tunic is my business.
I believe you are right. I think you’re serious exactly correct. It is the meat that is the evil of the world. I know we can’t ever get decent land to grow grains. We could be so rich right now. But those bloody animals over grazing the fields. They eat everything. Nothing can grow after they are finished. And they keep so many animals now just to keep the prices down and people in need.
This is the truth. Everyone is sick. Everyone is sick from living together and from the foods they eat and from their bloody need for constant entertainment.
Well, you need entertainment.
I think we can entertain ourselves just fine. I don’t really like these street fairs and street festivals so much. I don’t like the food that comes from these things and I don’t like what I feel like being around them.
Oh, come on. Don’t be such a purest. Isn’t it nice to see the pretty girls at least?
Phaedrus, You don’t understand. We need a radical change. If we continue letting them put everything that comes into their heads into the Torah, we’re going to be screwed forever and ever and ever.
You know, you have an interesting ability to know the future. I have some friends who also like to see in the future. And you know what they tell me? The whole world is going to be a desert simply because we never take the trouble to give ourselves over to agriculture.
Has there ever been a time when it is so easy to feed yourself? I love being a vegan. Food is everywhere when you’re vegan. And no one ever dies or must be killed to be a vegan. I personally don’t understand it why people don’t.
They will never learn, Hillel.
4
So, was there any news? Is there any relief in sight for any of us?
I’m afraid not. They just retold the story of living under the cloud. It is unnerving but I guess it also makes sense. Every time we stay someplace for too long, we start affecting the groundwater. There are just too many of us. Too many of us too close together and too many resources turned into commodities. I tell you it’s just not right.
If we didn’t live the way we live neither you nor I would have a job to do.
I can do agricultural work. I like doing agricultural work. I keep my own garden.
This is only true because you have enough money to have space for something like a garden. Most of us have only our tents and you can smell the truth about that.
I don’t blame the Egyptian for running. I would love to run too. Really, where would you go?
Anywhere. Anything. I’ll just take my chance. Everyone always needs a good man.
You are never going anywhere. You have too much. Maybe you’re not rich but you’re not poor and you hobnob with the big shots. You’re not a common man anymore, Hillel. I’ve always said that about you. You may be nervous but you’re definitely not from the lower classes.
But I respect the lower classes. I want to help them.
Sure you do.
You don’t believe me?
I think you like to talk about it but I don’t think you want to have the responsibility of genuinely taking care of people.
But that’s the whole point. We are supposed to take care of ourselves. That’s what’s so beautiful about agriculture. It’s so interesting to grow things and bring life to land that no one would think is worth anything. All of this business of grazing and killing and killing and grazing is going to be the end of everything. I tell you, things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.
5
And they’re not very good right now. All the rich families got mentioned. Everyone who was an officer in the war. They justify the constant movement. They justify never allowing us to settle anywhere. They justify it all as being ordained by God as the only way to live. It’s just so upsetting.
You are jealous. No one gave you a homeland.
I don’t need a homeland. I just need a home.
I am happy in a tent. My tent can be here or my tent can be there. It’s my tent. Maybe it’s better being mobile.
But we can’t do agriculture unless we stay somewhere. I know that we follow the cloud around and we are constantly moving and stopping. But for the love of God, there is a planting season. Couldn’t we just make use of our knowledge of the world and just take care of someplace?
That reminds me. You know what tonight is.
Of course I know. I understand the stars. We are at the midpoint. Today is the longest day.
You know we are going to have a great party. It will be just before midnight. I understand that it’s going to be a great fertility party.
Quiet. There are spies everywhere.
Don’t worry about it. Moses is on the mountain and he’s not going to be back for quite some time. You can claim all of these public holidays you want but this one is real. This one is really from God. This one shows the divine workings of the universe.
That’s what I’m talking about. That kind of talk will get you killed.
All right. I know you’re right. But still, I also get tired of the restrictions. What’s a little singing and dancing.
The solstice festival is not about singing and dancing.
Well, that’s okay. I’m just talking about a different style of dancing.
I don’t think I can make it there. Eva doesn’t like these festivals. There’s no money in it.
I don’t know how you take it, Hillel. I don’t know how you put up with it.
6
Phaedrus, Don’t go to the party.
What do you mean?
They know about it. They all know about it. The meat business has gone completely crazy. They are taking over everything.
What happened?
They called Moses back. He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to be on vacation. But they called him back specifically because of the festival.
Oh no. What happened?
It was the bloody meat lobby. They heard that we were going to be worshiping the longest day and fertility of the land. If we stay in one place, they will have to stop over grazing so we can grow crops to live. They know it’s against their best interest for people to live in their own best interest. That’s why they made this entire thing.
What happened?
The Egyptian was furious. Or maybe not. Maybe he just appeared to be furious. Maybe it is all just a bureaucracy. I don’t know why they needed him. They wanted it to be as clear as possible. I tell you, I like manna. I don’t mind. You can do a lot of things with it and it’s very healthy and clean. I don’t know why people never stop complaining about being who we really are.
And who are we really?
Meat!
Oh my goodness.
Listen to what he said:
18And to the people, you shall say, ‘Prepare yourselves for tomorrow and you shall eat meat, because you have cried in the ears of the Lord saying, “Who will feed us meat, for we had it better in Egypt.” [Therefore,] the Lord will give you meat, and you shall eat. You shall eat it not one day, not two days, not five days, not ten days, and not twenty days. But even for a full month until it comes out your nose and nauseates you. Because you have despised the Lord Who is among you, and you cried before Him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?”
They are turning the solstice into a meat festival?
Yes. And then he flew out of the tent and went up the mountain again.
You know, maybe you should not believe in the benevolence of the Egyptian. Maybe all that power has changed him.
I don’t know but I don’t like it. But I do believe there is good in him. He’s at least half Jewish if not all Jewish. I believe in my heart he’s one of us.
I’m not so sure. I’m really not so sure. I find it hard ever to believe in the goodness of people.
Even yourself?
Especially myself.
7
Well, it’s absolutely for certain what All this has been about. Miriam has a tzara’ath.
I heard something about that as a rumor. But you’re telling me it’s true?
They really like lifting tunics. There it was.
How did she get it? She doesn’t stray.
No, she doesn’t stray but he does.
Do you think?
I know. He has more than one wife. Miriam only had him. And now she is afflicted. A week’s isolation and he hopes it’ll make it better. And meanwhile he is going up on the mountain to get clean.
You know, I’m beginning to think you’re right. They’ve started collecting all of these birds and ever since we brought them into the camp, I have felt very ill.
Forget about it. There will never be an official mention of this. It’s called bird flu. We’ve done this to ourselves.
Bird flu. It boggles the mind.
I tell you, eating vegan helps. It helps not to be around it most but if you don’t eat meat, you seem to get better pretty fast.
I’ve noticed this too. But I’ve also noticed how sick everyone is.
They are never going to learn. They keep writing and writing in that book but we never say anything real.
You keep writing. They just keep talking.
That’s all they do is talk. They don’t work and they talk and they live off the blood of others. And now we all have to be sick instead of healthy and we all need to be at war instead of peace and we can’t even trust our own bodies not to get sick. This whole thing is insanity. A little education, a little planning and a little effort and we can all be right back in the garden again.
So I guess you’re not coming to the party tonight?
No, I’ll be there. I think though I will be careful with whom I celebrate. Once you have seen Miriam naked complete with tzara’ath, You start thinking that maybe not spraying seed as a fertility ritual might be healthier in the long run.
I’m with you. Maybe we just spray the seed instead of actually planting.
That’s my plan, Phaedrus. No babies, no diseases and only with friends. And please, I’m not eating any of these bloody birds. Please, don’t tell me I’m obligated to eat one of these filthy things.
